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“You got it, cowboy.” A visible shudder went through Charli, giving Kelsey a good idea of what the barn would entail. Grant wasn’t considered the Master of The Ranch for nothing. He hadn’t played publicly since he’d gotten together with Charli, but Kelsey had heard stories of how intense of a dominant Grant could be.
And though she had a fair dose of jealousy over the couple in love, Kelsey couldn’t help but smile for them. She’d met Charli when Charli had first come to The Ranch and had liked her instantly. And she knew both Charli and Grant had gone through a lot to get to this point.
When Charli turned around, she headed Kelsey’s way and gave her a quick hug. “Hey, gorgeous, haven’t seen you around in a while. We should grab dinner soon.”
Kelsey returned the hug, standing up in the process. “Definitely. Give me a call.”
Charli gave her one last pat on the arm and headed out, leaving Kelsey with Grant. That alone was a testament to how strong of a relationship the two had. How many women would leave their guy alone with a chick in thigh-high boots and a corset?
Grant nodded in Kelsey’s direction. “Come on in, Kelsey. Marc said you wanted to chat.”
“Yes, sir.” She followed Grant into his office, the warm woods and stone of the room matching the rustic feel of the rest of the resort, and sat in the chair across from his desk. “I had a few questions about my position.”
He settled in his large chair and adjusted the blinds behind him so that there wouldn’t be a glare on her face. “Sure. Shoot.”
She clasped her hands in her lap, trying to keep herself from fidgeting. “Some things have come up in town again, and I think the only way out of them is going to be to move away for a while.”
His dark eyebrows lifted. “What kind of trouble, Kelsey? If you’re struggling with your sobriety, there are things . . .”
“Oh, no, nothing like that,” she said, her words rushing out. “This is old trouble that won’t seem to go away. I think I just need to cut my losses and start over somewhere else. But I need to have more of a nest egg to do that. I thought maybe I could start taking on a few trainees to earn some extra money.”
Grant frowned and leaned back in his chair, considering her in a way that made her want to bow her head. “The requirements for my trainers are very clear. Both sides of training are required. And you haven’t done the submissive part yet. Believe me, I understand why you haven’t been able to do that portion. After what happened to you last year, I can only imagine how frightening that could be. I wouldn’t want anything to trigger those memories for you. But it wouldn’t be fair or safe to make an exception. I need my trainers to understand and experience both sides firsthand.”
“Right.” She looked down at her hands, not surprised by the answer but disappointed. She’d tried to do the thirty-day submissive immersion twice now because being a trainer was more lucrative than being a part-time domme like she was now. But each time the day to start had gotten close, she’d cancelled at the last moment. And she hated that. Hated that her attacker still held any power over her at all. Davis hadn’t been a dominant, he’d been a sociopath and rapist who’d held her against her will, beat her mercilessly, and tortured her for the three days he’d had her. She obviously knew that wasn’t what submission entailed. Yet, she still hadn’t been able to take that step with anyone.
Grant sighed and leaned forward, setting his chin on his clasped hands. “Kelsey, can I be honest with you?”
“Yes, sir,” she said quietly.
“I hired you because you’d been through a lot, and I wanted to give you an opportunity to get on your feet. And I think discovering your domme side has helped you gain confidence that the men in your past had stolen from you. You’ve blossomed these last few months.”
Warmth gathered in her chest at the compliment. “Thank you.”Author: Roni Loren
“But dominance is not your natural state,” he said, his eyes meeting hers. “You’re more than capable of being in that role, but I can tell you have to work hard at it.”
She frowned, his matter-of-fact assessment like a bucket of cold water over her head. “I don’t understand.”
His too-keen eyes evaluated her. “After a session, you don’t look satisfied or fulfilled. You look spent. And I know you don’t use your membership benefits here. The only people you dominate are the ones paying for the privilege. You don’t play with anyone for your own enjoyment.”
She glanced away, focusing on a spot over his right shoulder. Truth was, as sexually pent up as she could get, she never had the desire to take up one of the submissive members on their offers. She’d been abstinent since about a month after the attack. The first few weeks afterward had been filled with a backslide into drinking and far too many one-night stands. She’d been on a mission to erase the memory of that last person who’d touched her by having any and everyone in her bed. But after waking up hungover in some strange apartment, parked between a guy she’d picked up at a bar and his girlfriend, she’d hoofed it to her therapist and returned to The Ranch to ask for her job back. And thank God she’d done those two things. She didn’t even want to think about where she’d be otherwise.
Dominance really wasn’t about getting off for her anyway. It was a release of different sorts. It kept the hungry demons at bay—the whispers of old addictions, the threads of insecurity, the temptation to tumble backward and not feel. It centered her. “I just haven’t found someone who interests me yet.”
“Hmm,” he said, obviously not buying that ocean-front property in Arizona she was trying to sell. “Or perhaps you’ve got a longer and more important journey left on the other side of the equation, and what happened to you blocked you from accessing that side of yourself. When you first approached me last year, before Davis, you wanted to do the submissive part first. It was what you were drawn to.”
She shook her head. “I’m not a submissive, Grant. Men have controlled me all my life. I can assure you, I gain no satisfaction from being at someone’s mercy.”
“Or maybe you’ve met the wrong someones.”
“Well, there’s no fucking doubt about that.”
He gave her a kind smile. “I could see if some of the clubs in Dallas are looking for part-time dommes, if you’d like. You could earn extra money that way, though their screening processes for members are going to be more lax so you may get some jerks in the mix.”
She shook her head. The last thing she wanted were guys who thought dominatrix equaled prostitute. No way. As she sat there, frustration started to morph brick by brick into resolve. “No. I’m tired of this. Davis is dead and letting him haunt me means he wins. Fuck that. I need to try again.”
Grant watched her for a long moment, then nodded. “I’ll tell you what, darlin’. You find a dom you’re comfortable with to complete the other half of your training and when you’re done, I’ll be more than happy to let you take on a few trainees or a small class. And if you do well with those, I’ll even recommend you to The Plantation in New Orleans. They pay well and are looking for new trainers. It’d get you out of town and a place to stay rent free.”
A ticket out of town and more money? It was exactly what she needed. “That would be amazing.”
