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He chuckled. “Will it be wrong if I find you squirming in your seat particularly arousing?”
“Sadist,” she said with a real smile now.
“Only a little.”
She got quiet for a while, and he thought she’d dozed off, but then she shifted against his lap. “Thank you for that. I’ve never . . . men have hit me before . . . but I’ve never enjoyed it or felt safe while it was happening.”
He continued to stroke her hair even though her words made his other hand ball into a fist. She’d said it as if she’d just tried a little pain play before and it hadn’t worked. But he heard the hesitation in her voice, the part she wasn’t saying. Men had hit her without her consent. The thought of anyone hurting her had murderous notions forming in his head. And he couldn’t stop the under-the-breath question from slipping out. “What happened to you, love?”
Her breathing stopped for a moment, like an animal caught in the beam of a flashlight.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” he said softly. “But the more I know, the better this will work for both of us. I don’t want to do something that’s going to inadvertently hurt you.”
She lay there for a long time, her hand idly tracing over his knee, and he thought she’d decided not to share, but finally she seemed to deflate, releasing all her breath. “Did Jace tell you what happened last year when Reid was shot?”
His stroking paused. “Jace and I weren’t really talking a lot then, but I saw the news story. Reid and your sister tracked down your mom’s murderer.”
Kelsey wet her lips, her focus fixed on the TV screen but a far– off look in her eyes. “No other names were ever released because of the nature of the crimes. But Brynn didn’t track him down randomly. She was chasing after him because Davis had kidnapped me. I had incriminating evidence he wanted. He held me against my will for three days—beating me mostly, raping me twice.”
“Sweet Jesus.” His blood turned to ice and a sick, clammy feeling washed over him.
She closed her eyes, the muscle in her jaw twitching. “I’m not telling you to get sympathy. I don’t want that. But you probably should know . . . in case I freak out over something. I don’t get panic attacks or anything, and I’ve worked through a lot of it with a therapist, but occasionally there are nightmares. And relinquishing control will probably always be a little scary for me.”
Wyatt could barely breathe he was so horrified on her behalf. God, how had she gone through so much brutal trauma and still come out on the other side with such a bright light still burning in her? The strength of will that had to have required awed him. If he’d gone through something like that, he didn’t know if he’d ever be able to face life with anything but hate and why-me bitterness. “Baby, I can’t even—”
She turned her head to look at him, her blue eyes pleading.
“Please, don’t,” she said softly. “I was scared to tell you because I didn’t want that look. I was a victim of a crime. But I’m not a victim now, and I don’t want you to treat me like one. Or change what we’re doing because of it. I can’t bear it. I need you to treat me like the Kelsey you met at the Sugarcane. That’s who I want to be. It’s who I am underneath all the other crap.”
He brushed hair off her face, a knot of tears in his throat. “That’s the only girl I see, love.”
She gave a little nod, her eyes shiny. “Thank you.”
She rose up to brush a kiss across his lips, then snuggled back down on his lap. She didn’t say anything else after that, and after a while her breathing became deep and regular, her body limp against him. He moved a few strands of hair away from her face, watching her sleep. She looked even younger and more fragile in slumber, the wounds in her eyes hidden. His instinct to protect and shelter welled up in him in an overwhelming rush. This woman deserved a champion, a warrior to shield her from any future hurt. But he couldn’t stop his mind from drifting backward in time, to when someone else had put herself in his hands.
He’d thought back then that he could handle it, that he could slay dragons and save the girl he loved both from outside forces and from herself by taking the reins. But he’d been a prideful idiot to think he could handle that kind of responsibility. That kind of relationship couldn’t be maintained long-term, at least not with him. He didn’t have the time or the self-control to be somebody’s everything.
But right now, he wasn’t going to question the universe’s unexpected gift of Kelsey LeBreck. His life wasn’t set up for a forever arrangement, but right now he had seven precious days to savor this beautiful, amazing woman. And he wasn’t going to waste a second of it. He couldn’t erase her past and he couldn’t be her future, but he could give her exactly what she wanted and needed right now—a few days to be the fun, carefree girl she hoped to one day become.
Trying not to jostle her too much, Wyatt pulled Kelsey into his arms, arranged the blanket around her, then stood. The radar showed the storm had moved past them and there were no reports of tornado touchdowns, so they were in the clear. He carried her up the basement stairs and through the hallway, then found his way to the other set of stairs leading up to the bedrooms.
Originally, he’d planned for Kelsey to stay in the guest room tonight. He’d wanted to give them both some breathing room before the trip. Plus, he never had women stay overnight with him. But the thought of her sleeping down the hallway didn’t sit well now. What if she woke up in the night and needed to know where something was? He knew how disorienting a new place could be, especially in the dark.
If he gave her a choice, she’d probably take the guest room. Alone time would give her a chance to gather herself in the morning, to rebuild her defenses before she saw him again. If he were in her position, that’s what he’d try to do, too. But since they’d agreed to this arrangement, the decision should be based on what he wanted and thought was best, not on what she’d prefer.Author: Roni Loren
And what he wanted was for her soft, warm body to be next to his all night. He didn’t want her retreating behind her fortress again. He needed her bare and exposed. Open to him. Both physically and mentally. So that she could see without a doubt that he would be good to her and never, ever do anything to hurt or exploit her.
Kelsey stirred in his arms, curling into his hold. “Where are we going?”
“To bed, love.”
“’Kay,” she said, her voice sleep-softened and content.
He smiled and kissed the top of her head as he nudged his bedroom door open. The sheets were already turned back, so he gently laid her down on the right side, removed the blanket he’d wrapped around her, and then brought the bedcovers over her.
Without a sound, he went to his side and stripped off his pants, then slid beneath the cool sheets. Already, her sweet scent was invading his space, stamping her presence there. And he liked it. He liked it a lot.
And though he hadn’t had someone sleep next to him in more than a decade, his body seemed to know exactly what it sought. He curled around her backside, her silky skin pressing into his chest and the curve of her fitting against him perfectly. Everything in him seemed to relax in sated contentment.
