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He raised a palm. “No, no, I trust you. But I don’t want you to feel obligated to do this with me.”
She sighed and slipped the envelope in her purse. A small victory for him. “You said yourself that this money is to buy my freedom, right?”
“Yes.”
“Then let me make my own decisions. I’m staying with you this week and will play the role to the best of my ability because I want to.” She wet her lips. “And the training is off.”
He gave a curt nod. “Agreed.”
She glanced up the aisle of the empty cabin, then unhooked her seatbelt and came over to him, bracing her hands on his armrest and leaning down, giving him an unimpeded view down her blouse as she bent close to his ear. “So now you know that when I get on my knees for you, it has nothing to do with training for a job.”
“Kelsey.” The word came out as a strangled whisper.
She surreptitiously glanced toward the front of the cabin, making sure the flight attendant hadn’t stepped through the curtain, then lowered herself to a kneel next to his seat. “Your dominance strips me, Wyatt, flays me open and leaves me bleeding. But it’s a good bloodletting. If I’m really going to start a new life, I want it to be without fearing that I’m going to tumble backward at the first hiccup. I need to know I’m strong enough to face the fire and walk through it. I need to bury the girl I used to be.”
She was looking up at him, determination in the tilt of her chin but anxiety still lingering in her eyes. He stared down at her, almost afraid to touch her, knowing the minute he did he’d lose the resolve to do the right thing. “But what if I take you too far, Kelsey? What if those fires are too hot?”
“Then I don’t deserve that money or a fresh start because I wouldn’t be ready for it.”
He took a deep breath and set his hands on her shoulders. “I promise you there’s nothing I want more than to spend this week with you in my bed and under my command. But thinking this can be some kind of therapeutic experience is a dangerous fucking path to travel. Sure, maybe you’ll walk away from it feeling stronger. But it’s just as possible that you’ll walk away ripped to shreds and decimated. I’ve seen what can happen.”
The corners of her mouth dipped. “Is that what happened the last time you did this?”
He grabbed his briefcase and shoved it beneath the seat, needing something to do with his hands. “Yes. I ruined someone, Kelsey. Fucking ruined her.”
He caught her wince in his peripheral vision. “What happened to her?”
He gave her a hard look, trying to stave off the barrage of breath-stealing pain that came along with the memory. “I loved her. But in the end, I loved my job more. I told her I needed space. She took a fistful of pills and never woke up. She gave me all the space I could ever need.”
“My God.” She sat back on her calves, as if the revelation had physically shoved her backward. “I’m so sor—”
The speaker dinged overhead and a little red light came on. The flight attendant gave her warnings.
“We’re beginning our descent,” he said gruffly. “You need to get in your seat and fasten your seatbelt.”
“Wyatt—”
He turned away from her, unable to bear the naked sympathy in those blue eyes. Sympathy he damn well didn’t deserve. Mia may have put those pills in her mouth, but he’d been the one to break his promise to her. She’d given him all of herself, and he’d left her with nothing.
“I won’t risk it, Kelsey.”Author: Roni Loren
I won’t risk you.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Kelsey didn’t know if her stomach was upside down from the plane landing or from the conversation leading up to it. But either way, she was happy to get her feet on solid ground again as she walked side by side with Wyatt into the small airport.
He had his hand on the small of her back and had smiled politely as people had helped them off the plane, took care of their customs paperwork, and welcomed them, but Wyatt hadn’t said another word to Kelsey after he’d revealed why he didn’t do D/s anymore. So while they rode in the limo that would take them to a chartered boat, she’d watched silently as the man who’d seemed so warm and open over the last day and night disappeared back into the armor of an unruffled business man. She thought she was the pro at slamming the doors and shutting people out, but apparently she’d met her match.
And though her chest ached over the tragedy he’d been through, and she respected his reasons for backing away, another part of her burned with the desire to not let this go, to not take the easy way out. Submitting to Wyatt frightened her, made her feel things. The way he looked at her, spoke to her—like she was something to be revered and protected—was unlike everything she’d ever experienced. Her mind didn’t know how to digest all of that without panicking a bit. Getting used to that kind of affection could hurt her when she walked away from him. She knew that risk. And obviously that terrified the hell out of him, too. But his doubt about her being able to handle this, his worries about her fragility, only made her want to prove him wrong.
Was she really at the point in her life where some man could crush her? Even if she did something idiotic like develop feelings for Wyatt, would she freaking fall apart when their time was up?
No.
Fuck. That.
She wasn’t that person anymore. She didn’t pin fairy tale expectations on reality. Like she’d told him, she wasn’t looking for a prince to save her. She’d been living on her own for a year—had been happy even, until Howie had showed up. If a knife to her throat and knowing a gang wanted her dead hadn’t sent her to pick up a drink or get high, then what would? She was tired of feeling weak, of worrying about slipping up.
