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Devon’s lip curled. “What the hell am I saying? Like you would know anything about allocating money. I’m sure you have assistants for your assistants who do that for you.”
The little jab stung. It was one he wouldn’t have expected from Devon. Dev had been one of the few who hadn’t looked at him as a silver-spooned rich boy or the popular athlete in college. He’d gotten to know him, Hunter, not the son of Tom Riley, not the star pitcher. It’d been one reason why they’d become such fast friends. But he had to remind himself that this wasn’t the Devon he used to know. This was a Devon he’d hurt. A Devon he’d cut out of his life.
Devon turned onto the mostly deserted city streets and headed toward the on ramp for the highway. Music played low in the background, but Hunter couldn’t focus on anything besides the fact that he was in Dallas in a car with Devon after all this time. How many times had they ridden just like this, laughing about things, giving each other shit, or singing along to the radio? An old ache opened up in his chest—one where friendship and comfort and other warm things used to reside. He rubbed the spot with the heel of his hand.
Devon peered over, expression shuttered. “So, you gonna to tell me why you’re here?”
“I told you. My fiancée sent me out here to take a vacation.”
“Not why you’re in Dallas, Hunt, why you were in my bar.”
A thousand answers jumped to his lips. Because I needed to see you. Because I’ve missed you. Because I couldn’t not. “I need a best man for my wedding, and Macy thought you’d be a good choice.”
A brittle laugh burst out of Devon at that. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
Hunter turned away, staring out the windows as the car picked up speed and merged onto the highway. He imagined the vehicles whizzing by crashing into each other and piling up. He still had nightmares that looked like that.
“You’re serious? The girl you’re marrying wanted you to come find me to be your best man?”
He swallowed past the tightness in his throat. “She heard we were close.”
“That’s one way of putting it,” Devon muttered.
“She doesn’t know that stuff.” He shifted in his seat. “No one does.”
“I’m surprised you’re even admitting there was stuff. I figured all of that would’ve been obliterated in that convenient memory loss the accident caused.”
Memory loss? Hunter wished. He hadn’t forgotten anything about the accident. Hadn’t forgotten the way the alcohol had dulled the fear, or the way the roads had swayed in his vision, how the tree had looked much farther away than it actually was. Hadn’t forgotten that feeling that his life was ripping apart right down the middle and he was going to have to jump to one side or be eaten up by the abyss between.
And he also hadn’t forgotten about waking up in the hospital with Devon by his side. Dev had been crying, his eyes puffy as he slept with his head propped on Hunter’s hospital bed. The comfort Hunter had felt having him there had been unparalleled, and he’d reached out to stroke Devon’s head. But then Hunter’s father had stormed in and saw the simple exchange, took in Devon’s purple-streaked hair, his clothes, made his own assumptions. His dad had been so rude to Devon, telling him only family was allowed in. Dev had told him he was a friend, but Hunter’s father had said, “My son doesn’t hang out with people like you. I suggest you stay away from him.”
When Devon had walked out, Hunter tried to protest but the pain meds made his speech fall apart and not make sense. All he’d gotten out was that Devon was his roommate, that he didn’t want him to leave, and that he needed his dad to call him back.
But his father had leaned close to him, eyes steely, and his low voice full of threat. “If you think I haven’t figured out what’s going on, you’re sorely mistaken. And I don’t care how injured you are right now, son. If you so much as look that boy’s way again, I will leave you here on your own with the medical bills, the drunk driving charges, and your college tuition bill without looking back. You will not humiliate me over some twisted hormones. That boy is trying to bring you over to his disgusting ways, and I’ll be damned if I let it happen.”
Hunter had always known what awaited him if he rebelled against his dad. All the security, everything he’d known, would’ve disappeared. He’d seen his father cut people out of his life, including family, for much more minor offenses. And in that moment, Hunter had been terrified at the thought of being on his own at twenty years old, facing the unknown and possible criminal charges with no money in his pocket and no place to go, especially when his leg was shattered and he had no idea if the one thing that was supposed to be his ticket out from under his family’s thumb, his athletic ability, was going to be taken away.
He’d wanted to be the kind of guy who would be brave, who would tell his dad to take his money and fuck off, to not let anyone lay judgment on him or Devon. But when Devon had tried to sneak in a visit the next day, his dad intercepted. And when Devon had looked Hunter’s way, questions there, Hunter closed his eyes like he was still out of it from pain meds and hadn’t said a damn word.
The abyss had opened up and he chose a side.
Watching Devon walk away that last time had scooped his fucking guts out, but he’d taken the coward’s way.
A part of him had always known it would end badly with him and Devon. The secret had been hovering over him like a black rain cloud from the moment he and Dev had moved into the same room at the frat house. If Hunter’s father had known his roommate was openly gay, he would’ve pulled the plug on that from the start. But Hunter had kept it all a secret that whole year. He’d been in California, thousands of miles away from the critical eye of his family, and he’d been determined not to be like his father. He’d spent too many years watching his father judge and categorize people like he was some divine authority. Growing up, Hunter hadn’t even been allowed to have friends whose parents fell under a certain income bracket.
So when Devon had strolled into his life, Hunter embraced him. The kid had been kicked out of his family for being gay, the frat was more than a little uncom
fortable about it, and Hunter wasn’t going to be another asshole to judge him. He’d volunteered to room with him at the frat house when all the other guys were freaked out by it, and he’d made a point to not just be friends with him but to be completely comfortable around him. To be free.
They’d become friendly and affectionate. If Dev playfully flirted, Hunter had dished it back out. They’d shared a room, had become best friends, and hadn’t drawn any weird lines. After a while, the other guys in the frat had seen how at ease they both were and became relaxed, too. It’d been perfect.
Until Hunter had gotten his head all screwed up about it and crossed the boundaries of friendship. “I didn’t forget.”
Dev’s jaw twitched. “So you’re telling me you came all the way out here after four years of not speaking to me to ask me to be in your wedding? That’s bullshit. And if it’s not bullshit, then you’re an even bigger asshole than I thought.”
“I don’t want you to be in my goddamned wedding. I just—I was here. I thought I’d come to see you.” He hated the way his voice sounded—seeking, defensive.
Devon’s fingers flexed on the steering wheel, restrained anger evident in each curl of his hand. “Is this like the AA thing where you go say sorry to everyone you pissed off before you move forward? Tie up everything in neat bows before you walk down the aisle and into happily every after?”
