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She needed to get this done now. After last night, she couldn’t handle doing this with him here. She’d hurt him last night. The way he’d looked at her, the wounded betrayal in his eyes when she’d turned him down was going to fucking haunt her. But she’d had to do it. It’d been the right thing to do.
Saying yes would’ve been selfish and destructive. She didn’t doubt he had some kind of feelings for her, but the proposal had been a knee-jerk reaction. Pike being a stand-up guy. Maybe he’d convinced himself that he had strong feelings for her, but they couldn’t get married after only knowing each other for such a short time. Even if there was a baby involved.
Pike was used to risk-taking, leaping on faith, a dreamer at heart. But no matter how hard she’d fallen for Pike, how badly she wanted to believe that she could have her own fairy-tale ending, she couldn’t afford to marry a guy on a whim. She had Reagan to think about. Her daughter was already getting attached to Pike. What would happen if Oakley agreed to a marriage and then a year in, Pike realized he wasn’t built for the family life? Or what if Oakley found she really couldn’t bear to be with someone who was gone so much? If it ended, it’d tear them all apart.
It simply wasn’t an option.
Oakley took a long, cleansing breath and reached into the cabinet beneath the sink, pulling out the two boxes she’d hidden in there a week ago. Her hands shook as she opened each of them and read over the instructions. She’d bought two different brands to be thorough, but the instructions were pretty much the same. Pee on a stick, wait three minutes to find out if your life was changed forever. One would give a plus or a minus, the other would give two lines for pregnant, one for not.
She carried the two tests into the small alcove that housed the toilet, trying to steel herself against the panic attack that wanted to overtake her. If she was pregnant, she could handle it. She’d be okay. Reagan would probably love having a sibling around. And Oakley was way more equipped this time around than she had been last time. Pike would help with the finances. Either way, this wouldn’t be the end of the world.
With that in mind, she did what she needed to do and took the tests. When she was done, she set the two sticks on the counter, washed her hands, and then sat down on the edge of the tub. The clock on the wall seemed to tick slower and slower as she watched, and she had to put her face in her hands so she’d stop staring at the second hand. Tick. Tick. Tick.
She waited for longer than she thought she needed to and when she finally allowed herself to look, five minutes had passed. She stood, walked over to the counter, and braced herself for the result.
Pike leaned back on his couch, feeling more tired and gutted than he’d ever been. After getting back from Oakley’s, he’d just felt numb. He’d come home, opened a bottle of whiskey, and had put his headphones on full blast—anything to get his mind off of what had just happened.
He’d screwed it up. He hadn’t told her he loved her even though he knew it was the truth. He hadn’t been able to take that extra step and leave himself completely stripped down. And without those words, she hadn’t believed that he meant what he’d said. And hell, maybe he was fucking crazy. Maybe his instincts were shit. But he couldn’t get past that feeling that they really would be great together. He just had to find a way to show her that he meant what he’d said, that this wasn’t some obligatory proposal because he might’ve gotten her pregnant.
He didn’t do obligatory anything.
If she needed more time, he could give it to her. If she wanted to slow down, date, and see how it went, he was open to it. He’d scared her and now he needed to make it right.
He would fix this. Somehow.
He set the whiskey bottle on the floor and rolled to the side. His music stopped, his hip accidentally depressing a button on his cell and his phone asked, “What the hell do you want?”
Normally, the question would’ve made him chuckle. Braxton had installed an app on Pike’s phone that made the built-in assistant rude. But right now, he just wanted to throw the damn thing.
“I want Oakley Easton. Can you make that happen, genius?”
His phone dinged. “Found Oakley Easton, Perfect Match dating. Go to site?”
“What the fuck?”
He shifted up and pulled his phone from beneath his body, the screen bright in the dark room.
“Go to site?” the phone repeated.
“Yeah.” He sat up, the room spinning a little.
The screen changed and the Perfect Match dating website opened up. He recognized the logo from the commercials they were constantly running. Oakley’s picture was displayed front and center with the words Profile: Active beneath it. His heart lurched a little at seeing her bright smile, but dread was curling in his stomach. He touched the picture, opening up her full profile.
Status: Unmarried / Children: 1 / Seeking: men, age 26-40
Preferred career background of partner: Business, Engineering, Academia
Preferred education: Bachelor degree or higher
Ideal qualities: Smart, Stable, Romantic, Kind, Family-oriented, Funny
Turnoffs: Cockiness, tattoos, smoking
Pike sucked in a breath. His eyes skimmed the rest of her profile, but the message couldn’t get any clearer. What Oakley labeled as her ideal was everything he wasn’t. She was looking for a suit. Part of him hoped that maybe this was an old profile and that he’d changed her mind on a few things, but when he scanned to the top of the screen, he saw the date the page was created. The little numbers were like a punch to the sternum. She’d made this sometime after their first night on the phone.
With a sick feeling washing over him, he closed out the window and tossed his phone aside.
This was why she’d tried to push him away when the condom had broken in the first place. This was why she’d said no to his proposal. It wasn’t because she was scared or didn’t believe he had feelings for her. It was because she knew the kind of man she wanted in her life long-term and he wasn’t it. He was the hot fuck, the wild night—the disposable one, not the boyfriend.
