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She wasn’t going to fool herself into thinking this was any more that a hot night for him. A breakthrough in some ways, sure, but still just sex.
Theo twisted his fingers inside her, putting pressure in just the right spot, and sucked her clit between his teeth. The move sent pleasure rippling outward, and all thoughts in her head shimmered into the sweet nothing of sensation. She rocked her hips against him. “Theo, Theo, God.”
He seemed lost in his own version of pleasure, and murmured a response against her. Suddenly she couldn’t bear to not see his eyes for another second. She reached down and tugged the blindfold off. Theo blinked in the lamplight, his head falling back to the pillow, then his gaze focused on her. She knew she had to be a sight from that angle, but his eyes didn’t move away from her face. Lines appeared around the edges of his eyes, like looking at her hurt him in a good way, and then he pushed his fingers deeper into her, pumping them slowly, and pressed the flat of his thumb against her clit. His lips were swollen and slick from her arousal, which was sexy enough, but the look in his eyes, that I’m-going-to-make-you-come confidence did her in.
She reached down, lacing her hands in his thick hair and cried out as orgasm took over. Theo put his mouth against her again and everything went white in her vision. She held on tight and ground against him, taking every bit of pleasure he was offering and not caring how wanton or desperate she looked.
When she couldn’t bear any more, she rolled off of him and collapsed onto her back. Her chest was heaving, trying to grab air, as aftershocks reverberated through her. Theo rolled onto his side and looked down at her, a satisfied smile playing around the edges of his lips. He traced a finger around her navel. “I guess that was okay.”
She laughed and reached for him, brushing her fingers over his stubble. “There’s my smug doctor.”
He pushed her hair away from her forehead, his gaze tracing the details of her face. “I’ve thought about what you would be like when you came so many times. My imagination wasn’t even close to how sexy that was. You’re so vocal. And loud.”
Heat crawled up her neck. “Oops. Guess it’s good I live in the woods.”
“It was ridiculously hot.” He wrapped a lock of hair around his finger, his attention traveling down her body, making every inch of her skin hyperaware. “I want to hear you do it again, mistress.”
She knew what he was requesting. And the fact that Theo was asking to fuck her was a victory in and of itself. She’d planned for that to happen tonight when they’d started. But now she could sense her own attachment to him growing. Letting him inside her body would only make that worse. She’d only slept with three guys in her life. She played with strangers, but she’d only slept with guys she cared about. When he left afterward, this would hurt.
She swallowed hard. “Am I going to see you again after tonight, Theo?”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “Would you want to?”
“I would.”
He leaned down to press a soft kiss to her lips. “Then you will.”
She didn’t know if she believed it. But she believed that he believed it in this moment and that had to be enough. She reached out to her bedside drawer and pulled out a condom. “Kneel next to me.”
He got into position and she rolled the condom on. And though she was almost always on top with a guy, she wanted him to guide the pace this time, wanted to see this beautiful man above her. She grabbed his hand and dragged him on top of her. Heat flared in his eyes when their bodies aligned, her outer lips sliding along his length.
He didn’t rush it, though. Before entering her, he kissed her eyebrows, her nose, and finally her lips. “Thank you, Maggie.”
She forced a casual smile, despite her heart flipping over in her chest. “For what, gorgeous?”
He pressed his forehead to hers. “For being exactly what I never knew I needed.”
Her lips parted, his words knocking the air from her. But he closed the space for words by kissing her again, cutting off any response as he entered her.
Her entire body surged with need as he stretched her. He inched in slowly, making sure not to hurt her until he seated himself fully. She couldn’t tell if the shudder that moved over her originated with her or him. All she knew was that feeling them joined was possibly the most perfect moment she’d ever experienced—this sacred, still space where the physical met all the things that had built quietly between them over the last year. He seemed to recognize it as something special, too, because he paused for a long moment, just
looking down at her with this heartbreakingly sincere look on his face.
And she knew in that moment that he wasn’t thinking of his wife or his past or the tragedy at the hospital tonight. That look was singular and just for her. She thought she may dissolve under the weight of that look, but then he closed his eyes and began to move. He made love to her in long, unhurried strokes, a man who was going to savor. And just when she thought it couldn’t get any better, he grabbed her behind her knee to open her up and get as deep as possible. She got lost in the feel of it. His strong body against hers, his skilled hands, and his tongue stroking over hers when he bent down to kiss her. She wanted to fall into it and never come up for air. She wanted to cry. She wanted to keep him.
And when he brought her to orgasm a long time later, he whispered her name against her ear, his tone full of ache and heat, and came along with her. Joined for one perfect night. The doctor no one could touch and the mistress who never let anyone in.
And in those few moments, Maggie allowed herself to hope that this wasn’t the end but just the beginning. She fell asleep next to him, holding on to that impossible hope.
And when Theo climbed out of the bed later that night, she never heard a sound.
SEVEN
Theo looked out at the still-falling sleet, the pattering sound one he probably would always associate with this night, and let the tears track silently down his face. His chest hurt, his eyes burned, but the pain felt good. Cleansing.
Sometimes in medicine, you couldn’t remove a tumor because doing so would damage something else vital for life. All these years, he’d felt that way about the accident. The guilt, the anguish, the grief had been his tumor, but he’d felt like if he let that go, if he cut it away, there would be nothing left that would survive. It was what held his pieces together.
But tonight Maggie had taken a scalpel to him, carefully carving away the mass and giving him a glimpse of life in the aftermath. A life where despite the sadness in his past, he could still laugh and feel pleasure without it always having to be paired with pain, and where he could make someone else smile. He’d always love Lori and would always miss her. But maybe that didn’t have to mean a life sentence of being alone.
