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Blu’s laughter brings me back to the moment and I find her watching her husband fondly. “He’s a pretty big softy. But he’s got abandonment issues. From his past. He used to think that the world would explode if he didn’t see me every day. Which is great to have, really. But it sort of also hinders the growth of trust, you know what I mean? So, we took baby steps. We’re still taking them.” Then she turns to me. “Talk to your husband. Tell him what you want. Tell him you don’t want to do it. And if he loves it too much, then find a compromise.”
Her smile is kind as she continues, “Remember I told you that some people come into this business because they’re trying to take back what they lost. They are too angry. Well, then don’t be angry anymore. Forgive those people, let the anger go.”
Don’t be angry.
Forgive and forget.
Yes, I want that. I want to move on. I want him to move on.
Blu is right. We need to talk. Didn’t we promise that we’d talk to each other?
Abel is my best friend. He’s not a mind-reader, though. So I need to tell him, make him understand that we have a choice. We don’t have to feel angry anymore. We can be happy.
I just want him and me. Like before.
I want to write in my journals, do crappy jobs, and I want him to make me his muse again. Yes, I want that. I want to be his inspiration, the thing he gets so fascinated with that he can’t control himself from picking up his pencil or taking photos of.
I want that Abel and Evie. The artist and the muse. A boy and a girl in love. With dreams in their eyes, and the whole universe in their hearts.
I want to tell him that our treehouse is gone but it’s okay. We still have each other. We will always have each other. I don’t want to care about the people who don’t care about us. Not anymore. It’s exhausting and draining. It defeats the whole purpose of our love. Anger soils its purity.
Nobody matters but us.
I can do this. I can so do this.
But first I need a little fresh air. I don’t know why I’m so nervous about this but I am. I excuse myself from Blu and cut a direct path to the small balcony in the back. Thank God, it’s empty. I don’t want company. I’m going to drag in a few breaths, calm my fluttering heart, and then go back in and ask Abel to leave with me. Then I’m going to kiss him and tell him my plan.
It’s going to be okay.
Just then, the door slides open and the very man I was thinking about stands on the threshold.
“Pixie.”
God, his voice. I heard it just a little while ago when we came to the party but it feels like too long.
“Hey.” I smile at him.
I can’t help but smile at him. For the first time in weeks, things are clear. My mind isn’t foggy. I’m not weighed down.
I’m truly free.
He approaches me. “You’re feeling better?”
I put my arms around his shoulders. “Yes.”
“It was the chocolates, right? They calmed you down.”
“Maybe.” I look at him, trace my fingers over his beautiful face. The slant of his jaw, his high cheekbones, his strong nose. “Remember when you told me that if I hadn’t come to New York with you, you never would’ve made it?”
“Yeah.”
“I never got the chance to tell you that…” I take in a deep breath. “That I wouldn’t have made it either. They were planning to send me to some camp the following day and… I already knew that if something happened, if I couldn’t go with you, I’d kill myself.”
Fury lines his expression and before he can say anything, I go up and kiss him. I kiss him with all the love and the pain in my heart. I only told him this so he’ll know how important he is to me. How vital he is for my own survival. He’s too important to me to see him hurting and angry.
We don’t need the camera or anything else to make us feel better. All we need is each other.
I don’t even want to waste a single second before telling him, making him understand, so I break the kiss and come up for air. Abel’s grabbing on to my waist like he usually does, and it makes me smile as I catch my breath.
Then he licks the side of my neck, making me moan. Desire stirs inside me, so much desire. But I want to tell him first. I want to erase this boundary between him and me, and then we have all the time in the world for this.
