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Then he turns around and stalks to the door and throws it open.
Meanwhile, I just stand here, frozen on the spot but somehow limp as a rag doll as I watch his broad back. I watch the dance of his muscles as he breathes in and out.
I can’t see my mother though. His shoulders hide her but I can hear her voice.
“Where is she?”
“You don’t say anything to her. Not one word,” he growls.
“You don’t get to tell me how to treat my own daughter, got it? You don’t –”
“Do you remember what I said to you last night? You say one word to her and you’d be wishing you hadn’t.”
“I’m not afraid of you. I know the kind of man you are. I’ve met the kind of man you are. And she’s been lying to me for you. She’s been ruining her life for you.”
“It’s over now.”
This is followed by a few beats of silence when I imagine them staring at each other. When I’m still trying to comprehend what’s happening.
He called my mother.
The man I love called the woman who’s never loved me. Why would he do that? Why would he betray me like this?
Graham’s the one to break the thick, tense quiet. “Don’t make me regret calling you.”
With that, he steps aside and my mom comes into view, all haggard and unkempt like she hasn’t slept in days. As soon as she sees me, she rushes over.
She grabs my arm and shakes me. “What the hell were you thinking? Running away like this? Lying to me like this?”
I stare at her concerned face, kind of detached, a lot confused. “I didn’t think you’d care.”
She draws back, winces. Her eyes drop away from me before coming back, all guilty and fraught with restlessness. “I’ve never given you much. I’ve never been there for you. But you’re my daughter. And if I know one thing in life, it’s men. I know men like him. I know how they take advantage of girls like you. Crazy, naïve girls who ruin everything for them. Do you think he’s going to give you anything? Do you think he’s going to fall in love with you and you’re going to live happily ever after? That’s never going to happen, Violet. All he’s looking for is a good time. He’ll fuck you. He’ll break your heart and he’ll leave. No matter what he says, no matter how many promises he makes, he’s never going to fulfill them. It’s not going to happen. Get out of your dreams and wake up. He’s playing you. He’s making a fool out of you and I’ll be damned before anyone makes a fool out of my daughter. No matter how neglectful or unavailable I’ve been, I’m not going to let you ruin your life for a man like him. Is that clear? You’re coming home with me right now.”
When she finishes, I want to tell her. I want to tell her that she has it wrong. She has it all wrong.
She thinks he’s promised me things, but he hasn’t.
He never promised me anything. In fact, he’s been very clear about his intentions right from the beginning.
He’s not making a fool out of me. I’m making a fool out of me because I love him.
I’m so in love with him that he could’ve fooled me, if he wanted. He could’ve taken advantage of me but he never did.
Not even before. When he watched me and I watched him.
So, she has it all wrong. I already know he’s not going to give me anything but I don’t care. I just want to be with him.
But then, I see a movement from the corner of my eyes and I look away from the beautiful but tired face of my mother.
My eyes find him and from the look of it, he’s been standing there all through my mother’s insults. And all through it, he’s been staring at me.
When our eyes clash though, he gets moving.
He takes in a long breath that I can feel even though I’m standing so far away from him.
And then, he begins walking away and something splinters inside my chest.
He’s leaving.
He’s leaving me. He’s giving me to my mother like I’m this object, a wayward child who’s wandered a little too far from her home, and now she has to go back.
I don’t even stop to think or pay attention to my mom’s shouts when I take off after him. My bare feet tap on the wooden porch and steps. They stumble on the gravel as stones and dirt dig into my soles.
“Graham. Graham, stop.” I call after him.
He’s at his truck now, his back turned away from me.
I reach him, all panting and scared and with a heart that has a crack running at the center of it.
