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When she reached his house, she could see he wasn’t home. Where was he? At his brother’s, possibly, but she didn’t know where he lived. She picked up her phone and tried calling again with no answer. Something was wrong, and she was helpless to offer any assistance at all.
“Sawyer, it’s Rebecca again. Please, I’m so worried.”
No response.
“Sawyer, whatever is going on, please call me.”
No response.
“It’s Rebecca. I’m terrified that something has happened to you.”
No response.
“I’ve been by your place, your work. No one has heard from you! I’m freaking out! Call me!”
No response.
“I love you, Sawyer. I thought you loved me.”
No response.
“Clearly you have no intention of calling me again. I thought I meant something to you.”
No response.
“Fuck you!”
No response.
“Please call me! Please! You owe me that much.”
No response.
Two days had passed, and she hadn’t heard from Sawyer at all. Rebecca had left countless messages and texts. She’d even had Caine call—but to no avail. Sawyer hadn’t shown up at work, and every time she went by his house, he wasn’t home. His piling up mail gave away the fact that he hadn’t been home. Her emotions almost paralyzed her. They ranged from fear, to anger, to hurt, and then repeated all over again. Where was he? What was he doing? Was he okay? Did he even care that he hadn’t reached out to her in days? Was she nothing to him? Weren’t they a couple? Was he hurt? Should she call the police? Rebecca was losing her mind.
“He’ll call,” Coley tried to comfort her, even though Rebecca could read her friend’s expression and could tell that Coley didn’t mean what she said. That much was obvious.
“Caine has left a couple of messages. I’m sure Sawyer will get back to him soon,” Neely offered.
Rebecca turned toward her friend and glared. “What? Because he isn’t going to reach out to me? He’s not going to call me? Is that what you’re saying?” She didn’t mean to snap, but her emotions and lack of sleep over the past couple of nights had her fried.
“I didn’t mean that,” Neely said. “I just meant that we will hear from him soon. Maybe he had to go out of town and didn’t bring his phone. Caine is calling around, and he should be able to reach someone soon who will know what’s going on.”
Coley rolled her eyes. “Let’s face it; the guy’s a jerk. Why wouldn’t he call his so-called girlfriend? It’s bullshit if you ask me.” Her words stung, but Rebecca had to agree. It was bullshit. Complete and absolute bullshit!
“Jesus! I was packing up and moving closer to him. He wanted me to help him with his business. We weren’t casual anymore! Or at least I didn’t think so. And now he goes and disappears?” Tears exploded from her eyes. She couldn’t take it anymore. The pain, the fear, and the threat of abandonment became so overwhelming that it hurt. “I quit my job for him! I gave notice that I was moving out! I really thought we had something special.” The tears continued as her words became sobs.
Neely came over and wrapped her arms around Rebecca’s shoulders. “I’m sure he is okay and there is a good explanation for this. You just have to remain calm and keep it together.”
Rebecca shook her head and swiped at her runny nose with the back of her hand. “No, I scared him away. This was all too much for him.” She continued to cry as Neely stroked her back, failing to offer any comfort at all. “I even let him spank me!”
Coley laughed loudly, which had Neely giving her a dirty look. “Coley!”
Coley blushed and looked down at the ground. “Sorry. That was funny, though.” She looked up and met Neely’s disapproving eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“No, it is funny,” Rebecca spat. “It’s funny that I thought I could live this ridiculous lifestyle. Sawyer even said himself that DD takes trust, and it is funny to think that I could ever actually trust someone enough. This is proof that you can only have trust in yourself.”
“Stop it, Rebecca,” Neely said. “We don’t know what happened, and until we do, you need to not think that way.”
“Why don’t you come stay with me tonight?” Coley offered. “Vance is working for the next forty-eight hours, and I’m all alone. We can have some girl time.”
Rebecca shook her head. “No. I might as well start getting used to being alone again. It’s not like I haven’t gone through this before. I’m a pro at picking up the pieces of my fucked up life.”
“You don’t know that it is over,” Neely said. “I still think you will hear from him.”
“And then what? Have him tell me that I wasn’t the girl for him? I wasn’t submissive enough? I couldn’t offer him what he wanted. I scared his noncommittal ass away. It’s clear to me.” Rebecca tucked her bare feet underneath her and curled up in a ball against the armrest of her oversized couch. She knew she looked pathetic in her sweats, with her messy hair and swollen eyes, but she didn’t care anymore. She didn’t care about much at the moment.
