Page 8 of Rock Hard


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“Might want to be watching the board,” Seth whispered, “unless you’re planning on starting a band.”

Readjusting my focus to Sven’s hands, the magic happened before my eyes. It was still mostly a mystery at that point, but it would all come clear eventually. Of that I was certain.

Seth wasn’t far off about me starting a band. I’d already tried a couple of times to no great avail.

Then I’d found out about one-person music projects like Spectral Lore and Boreal Tundra and figured I could do something similar. I was interested in all aspects of the label but was also working to get to the point where I might broach the subject of my home recorded demo.

Like how I’d heard writers used to get jobs at the big comic book publishers, working their way up from the mailroom, which apparently happened more often than one might think. Even if it didn’t work out, I could have experience in the administrative and producing areas. It was likely not what my parents had had in mind when they had suggested a ‘fall back,’ but it beat the tar out of the other options open to an Art History major.

The mystery smell revealed itself as what happened when sage incense mixed with grease paint and treated leather, the scent only getting stronger as the band came through to the booth.

“How was that?” the vocalist, Evil Erik rumbled, his gaze burrowing into Seth’s soul.

“Not bad at all,” Seth answered.

“I think they were talking to me,” Sven observed.

“No, I was talking to him,” Erik corrected him.

“Fancy a drink?” Seth asked him.

“Absolutely!”

The change in Erik’s demeanour from sinister, scary metal singer to friendly, normal dude was remarkable. It was like seeing a clown out of his make-up. Or a member of KISS up close.

We headed down the hall, Seth and the band walking ahead of us.

“I thought you didn’t drink,” I said, scurrying to keep up with his fast stride.

“I don’t. But I’m a tea-totaler, not a prohibitionist. I am on a first name basis with the taxi dispatcher, though.”

I nodded as we reached the bar that was our destination. Perfectly square and painted a gunmetal shade of gray, no one could say that The Cement Block wasn’t accurately named.

“You have to check your, er, jackets?” a nervous sounding bouncer told the AGAB boys.

“Sure, don’t want to put anyone’s eye out,” BoneCrusher agreed.

Once their wearable melee weapons were safely confined to the cloakroom, the six of us ventured into the darkened confines of the club. The stage was empty as we claimed a table.

“They’re not on yet,” Seth said, noticing me looking. “There are two opening acts; the second will be going on next. Then it will be Loki’s Laugh.”

“Who’s the opener?” I asked.

“AB+. They’re a Type O Negative tribute act from Jersey,” he explained.

“Oh, okay. Are you going to sign Loki’s Laugh?” I asked him.

“They’re in the running. I know they sound good on record but that can be doctored in production. I have to hear them live to know for sure.”

I wanted to take notes as Seth was talking but I wasn’t sure how cool it would look, even if I was there to learn. When I was sure no one was looking, I jotted some of the more important points on the back of a napkin.

“I need a drink,” Sven announced, heading for the bar.

“He’s, um, intense,” I remarked, once he was out of earshot.

“He’s an asshole, but he’s the best producer we’ve ever worked with. Aside from Seth, of course,” Erik said, clapping Seth on the back.

“Thanks, Erik, love you too,” Seth replied.

It was a tiny bit disconcerting to hear someone as scary looking as Evil Erik laugh, especially due to how big the sound was, filling the immediate space with jolly joviality. It really only stood to reason, though, considering how he sang. The dude knew how to project.

A banshee shriek of feedback tore through the space, bouncing off the cement walls. Some people covered their ears in pain. Others didn’t seem to notice at all.

Without a word of introduction, AB+ launched into a spot-on rendition of “I Don’t Wanna Be Me,” followed almost immediately by “October Rust.”

It was like they’d embraced The Ramones’ approach to set lists and were trying to get through it as quickly as possible.

The fact that most of the crowd were wearing Loki’s Laugh merch likely had something to do with it. It wasn’t quite as bad as opening for Iron Maiden, whose fans were infamous for being nuts, but there was a similar sense of dread on a much smaller scale. I noticed Seth make a note in a pocket-sized Moleskine and wondered if my hunch was right.

Ending with a bang, rather than a whimper, AB+ vacated the stage, as though being chased, the drummer picking up his entire drum set and hauling it off. The stage was set, in the most literal sense, for Loki’s Laugh. Excitement crackled through the crowd like blue lightning.

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