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Three texts and still she didn’t answer, and my simmering anger began to boil over. I needed to see her.
Now.
I was in no position to drive, so I turned off the oven and stepped into my sneakers and made the three mile trip to Shannon’s rental house on foot, jogging up the front steps with a casualness I didn’t feel and rapped on her door. My heart raced while I waited for her to open up, thinking of what I wanted to say to her. Say? I wanted to yell and scream at her, to rage at how unfair it was for her to judge me prematurely. With my anger and hurt growing, I balled my hand into a fist and pounded on the door again.
No answer.
I waited another minute or two and knocked again.
“Knock all you want, she’s not gonna answer.” Xander’s voice sounded behind me and when I turned, he wore a cautious grin, thumbs tucked into the belt of his Sheriff’s uniform.
“Yeah and why is that?”
“She’s gone. For a while, anyway.”
Gone. The word hit me like a brick to the chest. “Gone. Any idea where?”
“Mara wouldn’t tell me where, but if I had to guess I’d say her place back in California.” His words came out easy enough but that probably came from being the top law enforcement officer in town, his tone though was sympathetic and that surprised me.
“What do you know?” He wouldn’t be sympathetic without a reason and I had to wonder if everyone in town knew about her delicate state, except me.
Xander shrugged. “I know lots of things. I keep telling you people I’m more than a pretty face, but you’ll need to be a bit more specific.”
“What do you know about why Shannon left?” He knew. I could just feel it down to my toes.
Xander sighed and nodded for me to follow him, probably because several curtains swayed in the surrounding houses, nosy neighbors looking for gossip, most likely. “Did you drive here?”
“No, I ran.”
“I’ll give you a ride back.” He turned on his heels and jumped in his cruiser, silently maneuvering the car towards the road that would take him back to my place. “I don’t know much. Mara told me she had to go back to California to sort her head and heart out, I figured it had something to do with you.”
“Only in that she’s running from me.” I didn’t get it. “Do I give off some kind of asshole vibe?” I always thought I was a good guy, but first Carly and now Shannon, had basically run away from me rather than tell me what was on their minds.
“Unfortunately, you don’t. It would be a lot easier to hate a guy nearly as handsome as me, if he was a dick. But you, my friend, are a nice guy. At least that’s what all the women in town are saying.”
“All the women except the one who matters.”
Xander arched a black brow and looked at me. “Shannon matters, huh?”
“You know what I mean. We’re friends,” I added even though it felt like lie on my tongue. “She’s pregnant, Xander. Pregnant with my baby and not only did she let me worry about her for weeks, she told me in a letter and then vanished.” She just fucking vanished as if it didn’t matter what I thought or wanted.
“She didn’t vanish, man. She went home. It’s what women do when their whole lives have been turned upside down.”
I shook my head. “No, she didn’t run home to her father and stepmother, she went back to her lonely Los Angeles condo because she would rather be alone there, than here. With me.”
“That’s crap and you know it.” I opened my mouth to tell him it wasn’t crap but Xander cut me off in his best cop voice. “I’m talking now. You know, Mara and I had a pregnancy scare not long after we got together officially. She ran back to Tulip, to sort her head out with her foster mother before she told me she was late. Late, not pregnant.”
“Were you pissed?”
Xander let out a low whistle. “Hell yeah, I was pissed. But you know Mara and she put me in my place, told me that I didn’t get to judge how she reacted to news that there was a human taking up residence inside her body. Her body. She was scared as hell and worried how I would take the news, and she went home to figure out how to tell me.”
“What did you do?”
“What do you think? I chased her down and we had it out right there in Helen’s living room.”
“But Shannon and I are not a couple.” Based on her actions, we weren’t anything. Not even friends. “She left because she doesn’t want me to be involved. She probably thinks I’ll be a terrible father and would rather go at it alone.” It hurt like hell to realize she thought so little of me, but it was the only thing that made sense. Xander turned down the long drive that led to my place and cut off the engine, staring at me as I dialed Shannon’s number and waited for the beep. “I might not have the money and manners you do, Shannon, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have anything to offer our child. And it doesn’t mean I’ll be a terrible dad, either. I just…I can’t believe that’s what you think of me.”
