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“How are you getting along with your belle?” Rafe asked.
Rafe had enough on his plate. He didn’t need me to unload all my shit on him. And I wasn’t prepared to discuss the pregnancy yet with anyone. I still couldn’t believe it… It was like I was in shock or something. For now, the secret of the belle and the baby would have to remain locked inside of me.
“Okay… not like you and Fallon, but fine. She’s a good fuck and a hot piece of ass, so I guess I should consider myself lucky. But when these 109 days are over, I’m moving forward and not looking back.”
Maybe I was lying… okay… I was lying. But it felt good to say. Wouldn’t it be great if it were that simple? If I could just block this nightmare from my life and continue on as planned? But the reality was that nothing was going to be the same again.
Rafe laughed and patted me on the shoulder blade. “You tell yourself whatever you want. There is no way in hell anyone can walk out of this place, enduring what we do for so long, and not form some sort of connection. No way. That belle in there is going to fuck with your mind and with your heart. No use fighting it.”
“Your situation is different,” I said. “But I’m happy for you. Let’s hope the rest of us pass the Trials and not end up pulling a Sully.”
“You got this,” Rafe encouraged as he turned to leave the cemetery. “I need to get going. Fallon’s waiting for me.”
I walked beside him, trying not to focus on the large manor before me. It reminded me of something Stephen King would write in one of his horror novels. The moment of fresh air and the break from it all made me feel normal again. Human. Even if only for a brief moment.
“Do you want a piece of advice?” Rafe asked as we made it down the hill.
“Sure. Anything to help get past this.”
“Don’t be a dick.” He patted my back good-heartedly and smiled. “I know you. You don’t do relationships. You keep to yourself. And you can be a super dick. I say that with love, but being a dick isn’t going to help you or your belle. So, don’t be a dick.”
I smirked, and shoved Rafe playfully. “Got it. Don’t be a dick.” As we got closer to the manor, I asked the question I had been wanting to ask since I left the room. “Why do we do this? I mean… why do we care? Why is the Order so important?”
“Inherited malice,” Rafe said simply. “It’s in our blood. No choice.”
How true his words were.
And yet, the word inheritance… It made me think of the child Abilene claimed was mine, growing in her belly. A thought which I quickly shut down.
As we parted ways, I made my way back to our room. It wasn’t fair for me to leave Abilene inside alone, while I got to at least see the sun and breathe some non-toxic air. I should at least offer the same opportunity to her.
When I entered the room, Abilene was pacing from one side to the other, clearly agitated. She spun to face me, and before I could even say a word, she said, “Okay, we can’t just ignore the obvious. We can’t just avoid confrontation today.”
“Agreed,” I stated as I pointed to her shoes. “Let’s go for a walk. It’s not hot out yet, and I think it will do us both some good.”
We silently made our way out of the Oleander, and Rafe’s words rang in my ears. “I’m sorry for being a dick last night. My first reaction to the news of the baby isn’t something I’m proud of. I’m sorry.”
She inhaled deeply as we began to walk along the oak trees that offered sporadic shade to help ease the summer temperature. “I know it was a shock. But I also swear I’m not lying. The baby’s yours.”
“I believe you.”
And I did. I didn’t know why exactly, but something in my gut told me this woman wasn’t lying about the baby. It would be so easy to prove it wasn’t mine, and she wouldn’t be foolish enough to pull this over on me and think she could get away with it if it weren’t true. But something in my gut also told me I wasn’t getting the entire story. She was still holding back. She was still hiding something.
“But I also believe there is much more to you, and now is the time to come clean.”
She paused for a moment but then continued on walking. “I haven’t had the easiest life,” she began. “In order to survive, I did some things that I’m not exactly proud of. I ran a lot of cons, and I deceived many people. I hustled and—”
