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But tough decisions would have to wait. Because today was a special day. It was my girl’s birthday.
It was nearly 11AM. I left Molly sleeping and got up to make her French toast that I planned to bring into bed.
While the coffee was brewing, I decided to check her mail, which typically came early. Molly had mentioned she was waiting on a package to arrive today. Once downstairs, I found nothing but several envelopes in her mailbox.
As I made my way up the stairs, I sifted through her mail. There were a couple of bills and a birthday card from someone whose name I didn’t recognize. Then I noticed a card from someone whose name I did recognize—Molly’s dad.
I didn’t know what to make of it. Maybe he’d planned to send it before he passed away. But I braced myself for the emotions that were sure to come once she saw it.
Back in the apartment, I left the mail on her counter and resumed making breakfast.
Molly appeared in the kitchen before I had a chance to bring her breakfast in bed.
“Hey, birthday girl,” I said as I flipped a piece of French toast.
“Hey.” She rubbed her eyes and yawned. “Whatever you’re making smells amazing.”
“It’s your favorite. French toast. And it’s just the start of a bunch of things I have planned for you today.”
I wasn’t sure whether to tell her about the envelope from her dad now or wait until she ate her breakfast. Given the potential for sadness, I opted not to tell her until she ate.
“Sit. I’ll pour you some coffee.”
Molly pulled out her chair and let me wait on her. I served us breakfast and sat across from her.
We ate in silence, but the thoughts in my head grew louder by the second. One of us needed to give up our job and move if we were going to be together. After a moment, I somehow once again shoved all of the unanswered questions to the back of my mind, reminding myself that today was not the day to stress.
We cleaned our plates, and I walked over to the counter. “So…I went to check your mail. I know you were expecting something. No package came, but I did see this.” I handed her the envelope.
Molly examined it before her eyes widened. “It’s from my dad…”
“Yeah.”
She slowly opened the envelope and took out the card. She read the front and clutched it to her chest.
She handed it to me. “Will you read it to me?”
“Of course.” I began to read her father’s handwriting.
To my beautiful daughter,
If you’re reading this, it’s because I’m no longer on this physical Earth and had to miss your birthday. For that, I’m very sorry. I’m sorry for a lot of things when it comes to you. But perhaps I am most sorry for the fact that I didn’t have enough time with you. I didn’t get to fully enjoy spending time with the adult woman you’ve become, the one I’ve been so proud of. I would have taken you to your favorite Italian restaurant today and let you talk while I listened. There’s nothing more I would want to do, especially at this moment—bed-ridden and unable to go out, let alone stomach something as delicious as one of those flatbread pizzas.
I worked very hard throughout my life, as you know, but in the end, I couldn’t take my career with me. In retrospect, I wish I had spent more time with my children and less time working, as difficult as that is to do as a physician. If you have the opportunity in life to choose work or family, always choose family. Because not having spent enough time with mine is literally my only regret as I prepare to take the next step of my soul’s journey.
Live each day as if it’s your last, and make the most of your time with the people you love. Spend time getting to know your little sister. She’s going to need your guidance and love. I am certain Kayla will remarry someday, and that’s going to be extremely difficult for Siobhan. Unfortunately, because of me, you’ve been in that same predicament, and so you and Lauren will be able to comfort her in that respect. I love all of my children, but I worry the most about you, Molly. You’re the one with the biggest heart. And I hope you don’t have a single regret when it comes to me. I hope you let all of that go. I know you love me. Please don’t ever doubt whether you showed me that sufficiently. You did everything you could in my last days to prove the love you had for me had never left.
I can only wish that you find a man who loves you half as much as I do. Please don’t ever settle. You deserve someone who will love you with all his heart. And when you find that person, you’ll know. If you’re trying hard to figure out whether someone is the right one, I’ll tell you a secret: he’s not. Unless we’re talking about Declan. (Can you tell I like that guy?) I’m kidding, though. My opinion doesn’t matter. Follow YOUR heart, my love.
