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She stopped and turned back.
When her gaze lifted to meet his, he was shocked. He'd expected the anger to be on the rise but above all she looked hurt. The realization stabbed him in the gut. He'd really hurt her by not being up-front with her. But hadn't she told him that's what had upset her about the ex from college? Sebastian cursed himself. How could he not realize this would become such a big thing, a painful barrier between them?
"I'm sorry." Instinctively, he stroked her shoulders with his hands, unable to stop himself reaching out for her. "I didn't think it mattered, truly I didn't."
"So you lied to me?" Her lip trembled and there was a definite sheen of withheld tears in her eyes.
Sebastian could have kicked himself, repeatedly. "I didn't lie to you, I just didn't tell the whole truth—it's no excuse I know, and it will never happen again."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
She looked at him with trusting but sad eyes.
"Look, Amy, there's something else I have to tell you." Doubts riddled through his mind. He hoped that what he was about to say wouldn't push her any further away than she had been over the last couple of hours. "I did do a little bit of snooping myself. It wasn't much, I hasten to add." He looked at the small frown lodged between her eyebrows, wishing he could smooth it away. "I went over to Quentin's apartment, because it was the kind of thing I would do and I thought it might be helpful. As it happens, it wasn't overly helpful, so you haven't missed out." That wasn't entirely true, but he hadn't found anything concrete and he decided that was the best way to sell it to her. "I was going to tell you, honestly, I was just trying to find the right time." Could he do it all, could he tell her he'd visited Jake as well?
"You didn't get that scar in a skiing accident, did you?"
Her remark surprised him. He expected more of a rebuff over his latest confession. Sebastian shifted his feet, restlessly. You are doing the right thing, you are coming clean, he reminded himself. This is what he wanted to do. He didn't particularly like remembering the time he got the scar, though. Things had gone too far. Private investigation wasn't supposed to be about being a soldier, and that's what he'd done wrong.
"It was a company fraud investigation case. Turned out to be an undercover arms trader dealing out of an official British army supply unit. Things turned nasty."
She looked upset, concerned.
He'd expected her to be angry. Her eyes were damp. Had he said too much, all at once?
"So that was a lie then, wasn't it?" She had him there.
He gave a deep sigh. "Amy, in my line of work you sometimes have to hide things, not for the wrong reasons, but because you have to. Often it's to protect people from things that might hurt them or put them in danger. I admit I'm set in my ways and often keep things to myself that I don't need to, but it wasn't meant badly, do you believe me?"
She regarded him with those beautiful eyes of hers then nodded. "And what sort of work have you done for Dad, before now?"
"There was a senior accountant at the paper who was on the take. Your Dad had a hunch about him but he needed evidence. I got it for him"
"Was that Frank Mayors, about a year ago?"
He nodded.
"I'm going back to my office," she announced, blinking back the tears. "I've got work to do."
"Amy…?"
She turned back.
"Can't I give you a lift?" He nodded over at the Land Rover.
"No, thanks, the walk will clear my head."
"What about our plans for this evening?"
She shook her head, staring at the ground. "I need some time on my own, I'm sorry."
"Okay, I understand, but please remember I'm here for you…not only because it's my job, but because I want to be."
She nodded. She must know he was referring to the more intimate side of the relationship, but she didn’t respond.
He reached out and stroked her shoulders again then dropped his hands at his sides, silently admitting defeat. For now. "In that case I'll collect you at your place tomorrow, after the rush is over. Is ten good for you?"
