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She turned back, shook her head. “It won’t work. Can’t you see that? We were doomed before we even started. That should have been obvious to us even before all this horrible history came out. But come out it has. The sins of the fathers, Rex.” Her eyes flashed. “False expectations and secrets kept us apart years ago when we might have had a natural relationship. When we came back here there was so much we didn’t know about the past. Hell, there is still so much that we don’t know.”
The haunted look in her eyes angered him. He wanted to push the shadows away, but if she left now that wouldn’t happen. “But the danger is over.”
“I know, and I thank you for all you did to protect me—I see it all now. But it’s like a curse. We were nearly killed because of the history here.”
He shook his head vehemently. “We were nearly killed because my father kept a crazy nutjob for a mistress.”
“But don’t you see. You found out you have two half brothers of Charles Carruthers’s blood. They were cut out. I wasn’t. They have more right to this place than I do. From what you’ve said this week, it was only your father’s guilt about keeping us apart that puts me here at all.”
“That’s not the case.”
“It’s why two men felt they had to take action. They were owed. That’s what she said.”
“They tried to hurt you. They’re getting fuck all!” His self-control was slipping away.
She swiped back her hair. “Rex, my mother died here. For all I know she could have been a victim of that mad bitch.”
Rex was stunned. It hadn’t even occurred to him, even though Carmen had expressed doubts about the car accident. The possibilities roared in on him, making his mind reel. Could it be true? “If that’s the case I’ll get to the bottom of it.” If it was the last thing he ever did, he’d answer that question. “I will find out the truth. I promise you that.”
“Don’t you think that’s enough tragedy for a person to bear? For crying out loud, Rex, you’ve got two neglected half brothers you didn’t even know about. That’s going to take some time to come to terms with. I can see that, even if you can’t.”
“Okay, we all need time, but if you love the house we can work at it and live here.”
“No.”
>
“Why the hell not?”
“Because we’re cursed to be unhappy. We proved it this very night. My mother loved your father. She gave everything to him and this place and look where it got her. A lonely grave, and your father grieving while his bitter mistress plotted against us all.”
Once again the need to protect and cherish her pumped hard in his blood. He snatched her against him, one hand at the small of her back pressing her fully to him, the other cupping the back of her head as he kissed her heavily, trying to make her see, trying to kiss the denial out of her.
She was tense in his arms, rigid and fiercely resistant, but her lips softened and he felt her give, just for a moment.
Then she pulled away. Her eyes were luminous. She wanted him—he could see that, he could feel it—but she was resisting him more now than she ever had.
If they had time apart, she might withdraw again. She would become that elegant but fiercely independent woman that he’d seen across his father’s grave. It had been so much effort on his part to undo her tightly guarded ways and encourage the sensual woman to reveal herself. After all that, he couldn’t take the risk that she would walk away and forget him. I love this woman. “We can get past it. All of it. Please don’t walk away.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t stay. Nothing ever works out for this family, and it’s the same for us. We’re only here doing this because we wanted each other years ago. Like you said, we had to burn it out. There was only one way.”
“It never went away, and you know it.”
“Maybe not yet, but it will. Now you’ve had what you wanted you’ll soon get bored with the whole situation.”
He shook his head. “That’ll never happen.”
He’d never been more sure of anything. “God knows I don’t have a good track record, but that’s because it was always you in my head! It’s always been you that I wanted.”
She stared up at him and her lower lip trembled.
“I would dedicate my life to making you happy,” he said, and stroked his hand down the length of her hair. “Carmen, I will make this right.”
She shook her head. “You’re better to start fresh with a new life, a new woman, not someone who reminds you of all the past mistakes that were made here.”
“I don’t want that, and I can tell that you don’t mean that.”
“I do mean it. I think Burlington Manor deserves a fresh start, not two people who are totally screwed up by their past.”
