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“We’re going to have to trust each other. And I hope to fuck we can be friends because if you’re an asshole, I think this is going to be the longest year of our lives.”
“Fine. Where do you want me to start?”
“Oh. If you’re letting me decide, then I want you to start from the very beginning. Tell me who you are, Graham S. Davis,” she says, her smile falling away. “I really want to know.”
So, I start from the very beginning, and I tell her everything.
Except for the one thing I hope I never have to tell anyone.
YEAR 5 Side A
Graham
“Oh my fucking God,” I groan when the curtains are drawn back, and sunlight floods my room. I fall back on my pillow and fling my forearm over my eyes.
“Graham, you better watch your language, young man. You may be some sort of demigod to the rest of the world, but I am still your mother. Now sit up,” she snaps.
I obey. When she uses that tone, I never argue with her. “I’m sorry, Mama. What time is it?” I ask, sitting up and looking around my bedroom. It looks like a tornado hit.
I groan as flashes of yesterday start to come back to me. I look back at my mother and force myself to meet her very disappointed gaze.
“I’m surprised you managed to fall asleep after the way you were carrying on last night,” she says. I open my mouth to speak.
“Ah ah ah … don’t say another word. You said plenty yesterday, and now, it’s time for you to listen.” Her voice brooks no argument.
Before yesterday, I would have bristled at being spoken to like that. I’m Graham Fucking Davis. No one would dare talk to me like that.
Then my mother told the doctor she was refusing the treatment plan he had put together to fight the recurrence of her cancer. Now, I’m just the star who flew too close to the sun before he realized his wings were made of wax. I’m nothing more than a helpless, fragile, clueless human being. No matter how hard I’ve tried, I can’t get away from the fact that I’ll never have anything I want. It was a bitter pill to swallow. I had a few drinks and had what can only be described as a temper tantrum.
I hang my head and nod.
“Now, I know the news was hard yesterday, Graham. It was hard for me, too. No one wants to know when they’re going to die. I knew my time would come sooner than I wanted. I’ve known since the first time I let that man put his hands on you.”
My head snaps up, and I stare wide eyes at her. “Why are you talking like that? Mama, you’re ti—”
“Graham, I told you to listen,” she says sternly. Her voice holds a thread of steel.
I nod again.
She sighs. Her voice is softer when she starts talking again.
“Whether you like it or not, you know I’m right. So, please let me finish.”
She eyes me until I nod.
“I knew that I would pay dearly for not protecting my child. When Ellie died, that was my first punishment. But this cancer, it’s my final one.”
My blood runs cold. My ears are ringing and even as my heart feels like it’s slowing down, my pulse is throbbing.
She gets up from her chair and sits beside me on my bed. She strokes my beard and smiles softly, and stormy gray eyes roam over my face. “I hate this thing. I want to see your face,” she says.
“I’ll shave it,” I say quickly.
Her smile widens. “You were always such a good boy.” She pats my cheek before her hand falls back to her side.
“The minute they put you in my arms and I saw your face, I knew God had sent me an angel. He was only handing me the baton until you’re back in His care. So, as long as you are alive, even when I am not, you have to remember the things that I’ve taught you. The good and the bad.” Her gaze goes from soft to pene
trating and I sit up straighter.
