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“Really? Well, the only person in that room who was truly happy was the photographer we paid to take our picture. For real.”
We both get lost in our thoughts for a minute. I break the silence with another confession.
“Want me to tell you something?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“You know, everyone thinks I’m married to my career. That I’ve chosen it over having a family.”
“Are they wrong?” she asks.
“Very. I didn’t move on because there was no one I wanted to move on with. I’m not the settling type, so I decided that I’d be alone.”
“Are you serious? You were going to be a bachelor forever?” she squawks.
“Why not? I have a satisfying career. My sister’s kids are like my own and I get a lot out of being their uncle. I serve my community and I date some fantastic women. Just none that gave me the urge that you did.”
I trail my fingers through her hair.
“Urge?” she drawls and leans into my touch.
“Yes… to dig deeper, to ask questions, to welcome discomfort as a sign of growth. To stop believing in someone else’s version of my story and write it myself. You taught me all that. From the first time we met until just a few minutes ago, when you told me you left your husband to live more honestly. You’ve always been so honorable. Done the right thing. Been
brave.”
“Really?” She shakes her head dubiously. “I haven’t felt brave in a long time. I certainly wasn’t brave enough to walk away until I was sort of forced to. The day he told me about his affair, I’d been terrified.” She grimaces.
“God, I’m sorry. Did things just get bad all of a sudden?”
“No.” She skims her bottom lip with the edge of her top teeth, biting down when she gets to the very center of it.
“It wasn’t sudden. Or honestly, even all that surprising.”
I trail a hand over her back and press a kiss to her shoulder. I can’t believe she’s here. I sink my teeth in her shoulder and she yelps.
“Why are you biting me?” She pulls away from me and rubs her shoulder to soothe it.
“Just making sure I wasn’t dreaming.”
“Uh, I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to pinch yourself to figure that out,” she rubs her neck, but a smile tugs at her lips.
“Come here, let me soothe it.” She leans back in and I suck the spot tenderly.
“If you promise to always do that afterward, you can bite me any time.” She sighs and relaxes.
“So, what happened? With you and Paul?”
“Are you sure you want to talk about my marriage?” A skeptical frown mars her face.
“You’ve heard mine. Tell me yours.” I nudge her.
Her body relaxes on top of mine, and she blows out a long breath. “When I had Bianca, I took maternity leave. I loved being home with her, but I was ready to get back to work at the end of the three months. Paul was very unhappy at the prospect. He was raised so differently than me. He’s Catholic. Or at least he pretends to be when it’s convenient. He wanted me to stay home. I didn’t. There’s nothing wrong with being a full-time mother, it just wasn’t what I wanted. I had dreams beyond that. I also really resented the way being married changed my freedom of movement.”
“What do you mean by that?” I ask.
“I mean, when I met Paul, I had just started getting a taste of living the life I wanted. I was done with school, I had a job, was earning good money, had roommates, went out. Had sex, dated, whatever. I was free. Sure, it had been a hard road to get there, but I was free. And then, I fell into a trap.”
“He trapped you?” My body tenses at the idea.
