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“Look, let’s just have lunch, I won’t ask for more. Who knows, you might make a new friend.”
I end my sentence with, what I hope is, a relaxed smirk to try and temper how desperate I know sound.
She sighs and studies me for a moment. Her eyes narrow and her expression is completely unreadable.
She sticks her hand out, palm up. I stare at it, taken aback for a moment by just how small it is. “Give me your phone,” she demands. I do it without a moment’s hesitation. I unlock it as I hand it over. She opens up the keypad and enters a number and hits the green icon to call it before she hangs up again.
She hands the phone back to me, that thing passing between us as our fingers touch. Her eyes narrow as she pulls her hand back and looks me squarely in the eyes, pinning me to the spot.
“That’s my number. Call me tomorrow, and we can set something up. But if this is just a game because you want to fuck me. You’ll be disappointed. And so will I.”
Then, she turns around and walks, without a backward glance, into the bathroom.
I stand there for a second, almost dazed and looking at my phone. This woman is making me crazy. That is the only explanation for this madness.
Yes, I want to fuck her—and I will.
But that isn’t all. There is something behind her eyes. Something I saw clearly tonight—sadness. It is almost bleak, and I recognize it because I’ve felt it before myself. Someone has disappointed her terribly. She is smart and sexy. But she is also wary and hurt.
I turn to leave the restaurant. As I walk by the table she is sharing with her so-called date, I see him flirting with the waitress standing next to him. I might be a fool, but he is something worse. If I had Addie to myself, I wouldn’t even notice other women, much less pay attention to one.
I exit the restaurant, hail a cab, and head back to my apartment. As I think about my brother and my nephew, I am tempted to delete her number. I just have to remember they come first. If I can do that, then maybe I can handle Addie. As I think this though, I know the words “Addie” and “handle” don’t belong in the same sentence. I laugh to myself as I settle in for the ride home. I can’t wait to see her again.
August 31, 2014
“1234, My baby don’t mess around because she loves me so and this I know for shoooo.”
My alarm, set to Outkast’s “Hey Ya” wakes me with a jolt. Most mornings this song is a like a shot of espresso. However, this morning it’s like thousand knives stabbing me in the head.
I came back to the table after my encounter with Simon ready to go home. But we had only just ordered our food, so I had sit through a date with Jason. He continued to talk about us going home together. And he also seemed to think I was too stupid to see how his hand kept brushing up against our waitresses, and how every time she came to see if we were enjoying our meal she was only speaking to him, completely ignoring me.
Honestly, I didn’t give a shit. It was our first and only date, and I just wanted it over as quickly as possible. My emotions were in a tail spin by the time I got home. I tried to find some answers at the bottom of a tequila bottle and failed.
Now, I am paying for it.
Seeing Simon had been incredible. And stressful. He looked gorgeous and earnest; I can’t pretend I wasn’t relieved when he explained about his neighbor and his nephew. I wasn’t being coy when I told him I wasn’t looking for anything.
I’m not. At least, I wasn’t. I don’t know. I gave him my number because… I wanted to. For the first time in my adult life, I want to see a man again. And even though that should make me want to run as far and as fast as I can, I am also drawn to him. I am not looking for entanglements. I don’t want to give someone the chance to break my focus or my heart.
I am not sure what it is about him, but I am intrigued by him. And the way Simon looks at me, like he understands things I haven’t even figured out myself, is oddly comforting.
I turn off my alarm and get out of bed. I regret moving so fast, but I put on my running clothes, slip on my running shoes, grab my phone, headphones, and head towards the door. A good run will help me clear my head and think.
As I look at my phone to open Spotify, I notice I have five missed calls. All from Lily. I immediately open my voicemail. She called five times, but left one message. I press play and put the phone to my ear, my heart almost beating out of chest.
“Ad, it’s me. Listen, call me back. Agent Walker called and says she needs to talk to us about Dad. She was vague, but said it’s urgent.”
I hang up and sit down on my couch. I don’t need this shit right now. Since my father disappeared, the FBI has been a constant nuisance. They have always believed our father would make contact. Thirteen years later, there have been two changes in leadership of the task force assigned to this case, multiple interviews, and not a single word from him.
I call Lily back right away. It’s not even dawn in Miami, but I don’t care. It goes straight to voicemail, forcing me to leave a message letting her know I have nothing to say to the FBI.
“Lil, I don’t care what they have to say. I don’t need an update. Let them know that; I hope that will be enough.” I hang up and head out of the door.
When I get back from my run, Cara is waiting for me in the lobby of my building. She jumps up when she sees me and rushes across the hallway toward me. She is smiling and I am so glad to see her.
“Hey, honey! What’d you do? Run a marathon? I’ve been here for almost an hour!”
I glance at my watch and wince. “Sorry, Care. I lost track of time. I’ll be quick in the shower.”
