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“Of course, Matthew. I know. I am just stressed about everything I’ve got going on. Let’s just forget it.”
I hate myself a little right now, but I am not sure what else to do.
“Sure, Addie. I’ll let you get to work.” Matthew sounds mollified, but wary. I’ll take it.
“Thanks, Matthew. See you later?” I muster every ounce of control I own and smile at him.
It works and he smiles back.
As soon I hear the click of my door closing, I pick my phone and call Cara. She has been seeing Louis. She must know something; I am going to get to the bottom of this today.
As I start to call, I remember that as much as I love Cara, she is the queen of evasion, so I decide I am just going to show up at her place tonight after work. She can’t look me in the eye and keep something from me.
September 15, 2014
After work, I go straight to Cara’s house and sure enough, she is there. And with Louis. I’m surprised, but pleased. Cara’s known for her fickle interests in men and that Louis has lasted more than two weeks means she likes him. It also means she might become a source of information on Simon for me.
When she answers the door, it is immediately clear I’m interrupting. She is dressed in a tank top with no bra and pajama bottoms. The air is heavy with the smell of weed and there are glasses of wine and open bottles on the coffee table in front of the couch where Louis is lounging. They are clearly having a Netflix and chill kind of night. Louis is dressed equally as casually and looks less than thrilled to see me.
“So, Simon adopted a baby?” I ask without any preamble.
This gets Louis’ attention and his posture straightens immediately. He looks surprised when he says, “He told you?”
I swing my eyes back to look at Cara “Did you know, Care?”
Her eyes dart to Louis then back to me. She looks me in the eye when she says, “Yes, but it wasn’t for me to say, Ad. Besides, I knew you weren’t seeing him anymore.” She winces at this and her eyes soften with sympathy. “And Louis told me it’s a really sensitive situation.”
I sigh. “It’s okay.” I turn to Louis. “And, no, to answer your question, he didn’t tell me. Someone in the office did. But I didn’t know if it was true. I wanted to ask Simon, but we’re not exactly friends, so I thought I would see what you might know.”
Louis regards me thoughtfully. “Look, Simon is my best friend, Addie. I won’t share anything I know he wouldn’t want me to. But since you already know, yes, he is raising his nephew. It’s a lot of work and his company gives him the flexibility he needs to make it happen.”
Cara steps to stand beside me. “So, what’s up with you two, anyway? Why did you rush over here after work to find out about a guy last week you said you, and I quote, ‘wouldn’t spit on if he was on fire’?”
I flush and glance at Louis who barks out a laugh at this. I scowl at Cara. “Nothing’s up. Nothing has changed. Something really weird happened at work today and it was like everyone knew something I didn’t. I was just curious. And do I need an excuse to come and visit my best friend?” I say trying to lighten the moment and change the subject.
“Anyway, I can’t stay, I’ve got to hit the gym before I go home. So I’ll leave you guys to your… movie.”
“Oh no, Addie, stay.” Cara says weakly.
I laugh as I walk back to the door.
“Oh, Cara, not the pity, please, anything but that. I’ve really got to go. Enjoy your night. Sorry I interrupted. Let’s get together soon. Work is kind of crazy right now, but I’ll call you.”
I lean in for a quick hug and linger a little. I am so glad to be living in the same city with my best friend again. It’s such a comfort to know if I need her, she is here.
I head home with my head full of new thoughts about Simon.
So, he has adopted his nephew. Why? He mentioned not having a relationship with his parents, but he hasn’t mentioned his siblings. The night I ran into him in Ladbroke Grove, he was out at midnight, who was watching the baby? Where is the baby’s mother and father?
The day he ran out on me was due to an emergency with his nephew, who was with the baby when he was with me?? What’s up with the neighbor? So many questions. But also a new perspective. This is a man who has taken on a child who is not his. What does that say about the kind of person he is?
I walk to the gym and go through the motions of my workout with thoughts of Simon swirling through my head. I also think back to my own childhood. My life after my sisters left for college. My experience of living with my mother and thinking fathers were obsolete and fickle.
I feel a ping of guilt as I think about my mother. I haven’t called her since our argument. I know she won’t call me. I am the one who owes her an apology, but I don’t know how to bridge the divide.
And instead of satisfying my curiosity about Simon, my conversation with Cara and Louis has only intensified my need to know more. Dear Lord. I am in so much trouble over this man.
September 17, 2014
