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I know everyone thinks we are too young to feel this way, but I know she is my person. That this girl was meant to be my best friend, my partner, my co-conspirator. The guys on the lacrosse team laugh at me because I make no secret of my feelings for her. But I don’t care. Not even a little. I know right from wrong. Milly has felt “right” since that first “hello.” She has always seen right to the heart of me.
“I know, baby. I know. But, we’re in this together, Red. I’m not going anywhere. If you need me, all you have to do is call. Nothing will keep me from coming to you. You know that what’s going on with your father isn't your fault. I don’t think that, and I don’t want you to, either. Everyone’s on edge right now. Saying and doing things they will regret. But let’s not fall into that trap, okay, baby?”
I urge her to look up at me by putting two fingers under her chin. “Red, promise me this,” I put my other hand on her chest, over heart, “won’t change. I can take everything else falling to shit, but not this.”
“Never this,” she whispers earnestly, her eyes full of an aching, urgent love I only recognize because I feel it, too.
* * *
Ninety minutes later, and I’ve accomplished nothing. Except to make myself crazy. I’ve been thinking about Milly the whole time and all I know is that I'm no closer to getting answers than I was when I schemed to get her here. And now she's probably gone.
Except Cristal said she hired her. But, she's not going to want to work for me, right? Her husband probably wouldn’t like that—assuming he even knows I exist.
I'm going to get her contact information from Cristal and just call her like I should have months ago. This was such a stupid idea.
I head out of the office and start down the hall. The ding of the elevator catches my attention, and I see her standing in front of the elevator door that’s opening.
My feet decide what’s happening next before I can think about it. I change course and head down the hall toward the elevator and step on right behind her.
I catch a whiff of her perfume; she still smells like roses.
As soon as I step on, she whips around to face the doors.
“Dean!” Her mouth stays open and her eyes are comically wide as they dart over my shoulder like she's calculating whether she can make it past me and out the doors before they close.
“Milly,” I say in a tone that is as dispassionate as possible. But I find myself unable to say anything else. I just take her in.
I feel my heart beating a mile a minute in my chest as I stand close to the one person in my entire life who I have ever felt a need for. But as quickly as the thought sneaks up on me, I school it. I won’t let her take me there again.
“It’s a surprise . . .”
“I can’t believe . . .”
We both start talking at the same time. We used to do this often when we were teenagers. Start talking at the same time, finish each other’s sentences. Then, when it happened, we would laugh. Now, it just feels like an ice pick in a festering sore.
“You go ahead, Dean,” she says quietly. Her eyes expectant, but also angry. No guilt or trepidation lurk there. And that look causes anger to surge in my chest.
“It’s a surprise to see you here, Milly. It’s been a long time,” I say, hearing the frost in my voice. I can see the dimming of that expectation in her eyes and feel guilty for causing it. But I can’t waiver. This woman still has the power to bring me to my knees. She doesn’t even need to try; I already want to make her feel better.
I get my mind straight and keep talking. “I just wanted to ask you to please not mention our past . . . association to Cristal. I don’t want to rekindle it. I’m not sure whether you think that’s going to happen, and I just want you to know, it’s not.”
She makes a sound, it’s a sharp gasp and she looks at me with eyes full of hurt and then that hurt turns to scorn. Her lips twist slightly and she straightens her shoulders and lifts her chin. Her eyes blaze at me, and I feel the force of her anger like she's shooting it with lasers at me. I meet her glare with my own anger and hurt.
“You know, Dean, when I walked into this building, I had no idea you’d be here. But obviously, that’s exactly how you wanted it.” She stops and looks at me, her eyebrows raised in indignation and ire.
Shit. How does she know?
As if I had spoken those words aloud she says, “How do I know? Cristal told me. I guess you didn’t plan on her hiring me, right? What did you intend when you asked her to bring me in?” she demands.
And like a cat caught in the trap he laid for a mouse, I'm stuck. I can’t say a word.
“I wasn’t hoping for anything other than to get a contract to plan a party. If I had known I would see you here, I wouldn’t have come. Did you want to humiliate me? Well, you failed. I got the job and Cristal thinks you’re crazy for acting the way you did. But now that I know I wasn’t brought here because of my talent, I don’t want it.” Her voice is so cold, every word is like chips of ice falling from her mouth.
I don’t know what I expected in response. I don’t know why it hurts to hear her say that. My anger starts to simmer. She's the one who abandoned me at a time when I needed her. She's the one who got fucking married and had a child with someone else. Why would she be so pissed at me?
I start to rebut her. “Milly, you—”
She turns and presses the button to open the door as it hits the ground floor and cuts me off.
