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I gingerly feel the ground with my toes, grateful for the luxury of heated floors throughout the house when my feet meet a comfortable, lukewarm floor. I walk over to open the blinds and gaze out at our beautiful backyard. Two squirrels race through the branches of a tree that’s in one corner of our yard.
What a luxury it must be to know exactly where you belong. To be doing exactly what you’re meant to without anyone trying to stop you.
It’s been a few weeks coming, but I feel like it happened overnight. Reece and I are . . . an “us.” I’m part of a “we.”
All the lights were off when we got here last night. Reece asked to stay, but I said no. I told him I’d talk to Jessica in the morning and let her take care of me. I was exhausted, bruised and just wanted to go to bed. And, I was afraid of what would happen if we’re alone together in my bedroom. That kiss, God, it was so good . . . and quick. It had to be, I could feel his lips start to demand more from me. I could feel his hunger. I could feel the potential of what’s to come with us.
I am brushing my teeth as I remember what he said to me in the car. Wide open? I feel like his girl? Butterflies erupt in my stomach. How is it possible that Reece Carras feels like that about me?
I meant what I said yesterday, I want to get everything out into the open and I want to talk about Fabienne.
I hope we can do this part quickly because I want him so badly. I didn’t even know it was possible to need someone’s physical presence. Yesterday when they took me back into the exam room and didn’t let him come with, I thought I was going to die from missing having him there. By the time they were ready to discharge me, my need to see him was acute.
Relief and happiness overwhelmed me when I saw him as we came out into the ER’s lobby. The look on his face said he felt the same way. When he looked at me and asked me if I was okay, I had to kiss him.
I can still feel his lips on my mouth. So wanting, grasping, accepting.
I’m falling for him, fast and hard. There are so many practical things that will make this difficult to figure out. I’d planned on leaving the country as soon as the screenplay was done. My plan was to come back, but it wouldn’t be an option for three years from the time I left.
My ability to stay in this country is currently dependent on tenuous and contentious Executive Order. I can’t travel beyond its borders—I wouldn’t be allowed re-entry. Reece can’t whisk me off for a weekend to Cabo or Paris or wherever he’s used to vacationing. I can’t accept that I’ll never have the right to vote in elections that have real consequences for my life. I’ve never felt more resentful of my status as I do now.
“Enough of this pity party,” I say to my reflection before I turn to leave the bathroom.
Gingerly, I make my way to the bed, trying not to jostle my arm. I’m about to pull the comforte
r back and climb back in when there’s a knock on my bedroom door. I figure it’s Jess, though she rarely knocks. When I open it, confusion and excitement make me gasp. Reece and Jessica stand there, together and smiling.
“Oh, my little macaron,” Jessica says as she pulls me into her arms. She hugs me and strokes my hair and calls me her little beignet over and over while assuring me that she is going to take care of me. I look over her shoulder at Reece, silently asking for an explanation.
He holds my phone up, waving it before he puts it down on the desk in my room, “You left this at my house last night.”
Jessica doesn’t loosen her hold on me as Reece enters the room. He’s never been in here before and I can see him surveying it as he does a broad sweep of the place.
“Jess, I’m okay,” I say trying to reassure her. I wrap my arm around her and hug her back. She relaxes her hold and scans me from head to toe. Her face is as expressive as her Botox will allow.
“I’m so glad you have me listed as your In Case of Emergency, my little bonbon. When Reece called this morning, I came up and peeked in on you and saw you were sleeping. And then I went off to the store.”
“Thank you, Reece, for caring enough to call me. I can see you already know her well enough to know that she wouldn’t ask for help on her own, even if she needed it.” She beams at him and squeezes me.
I feel a ball of emotion forming in my throat. This woman is my family. My own may have fallen apart, but I’ve started to build a new one. One that’s based on choice and love. It holds us together with a bond that’s thicker than one formed merely by blood could ever be.
I squeeze her back and say a “thank you” that comes out strangled as it works around that ball in my throat.
“Come on, I know you’re basically okay, but I’m going to cook some food, do your laundry and make sure you have everything you need while you’re here. And you can take some back to Malibu with you.” I watch as she grabs my overflowing clothes hamper from my closet.
“I’ll take that,” Reece says as he lifts it from her arms.
She gives him a grateful smile.
“Now, muffin, I know you’re going to try and write and other naughty things you shouldn’t be doing. But Reece thought that maybe if you didn’t have to do the other stuff you’d actually get some rest when you’re not trying to write . . . with one hand.” She grins down at me. She gives my shoulder a squeeze and then heads back out the door.
“Reece, come on. Help me unload the groceries out of my car. I’ve bought the entire grocery store for our girl here,” she calls over her shoulder as she leaves.
He smiles at me and follows her out, running his hand gently down my arm as he passes me.
I’m smiling, genuinely, from my very soul for the first time in a very long time. That smile stays in place until I fall asleep that night. I’m loved. I’m seen. I belong to someone who will fight for me.
I thought my heart was permanently broken. I never thought anything would feel good again. But today, between Jessica’s love and Reece’s protectiveness and desire to take care of me—I feel great. I can feel the jagged tear in my heart start to knit back together.
