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I face my team and feel a rush of nerves that I haven’t experienced in years. I’m asking them to green light a screenplay. To give it a budget, build a crew, and start casting. It’s a big ask because of the nature of the project and the timing; it’s earlier in the production process than we normally make decisions like this. I asked them to consider it now so that if there are problems, we’ll have time to fix them without throwing off the project’s timelines. This is the moment of truth. I know they’ll be fair, but just as tough on me as I am on them. I’m not an asshole, but I am anal retentive when it comes to the decision to greenlight.
Sophie, my Head of Casting speaks first. She is the most opinionated member of our team and has been pissed with me since she found out that she’d have to give Lucía the right of refusal on casting. So, I expect her criticism to be stronger than the others.
“I honestly can’t believe I’m saying this, but I already have actresses in mind to play Azalia and Julio. She’s making great progress, and listening to them go over the script today makes me want to read the book.”
“Is this Invasion of the Body Snatchers?” quips Zev. “Who are you and what’ve you done with Sophie?” The rest of the team, including Sophie, laugh good-naturedly.
My marketing director, Joshua says, “You’ve got to convince her to do some promo. We won’t find an actress or actor who can sell the characters the way she does. You’d think she knew these people instead of having conjured them from her imagination.”
I smile at him. “I’m going to work on her. She’s reluctant to do it, but I think she might be convinced.”
He nods at me and says, “Then, I don’t have any qualms about giving her the go ahead now. Let’s find a director and get casting going.”
I look at the rest of the team and they all nod in agreement. And just like that, it’s happening.
When our meeting is over and everyone is gone, I stick my head out to ask Liza to get Lucía on the phone.
“Okay, but I think they left the office. I heard them saying something about heading back to Los Feliz?” Thank goodness for my nosey eavesdropping PA. “Do you want to have them come back?” It’s almost five in the afternoon. Rush hour traffic is a nightmare and Lucía looked tired towards the end of the meeting.
“No, don’t worry. I’m going to go check on my dad and then head home.” Or to Lucía’s, says the devil on my shoulder.
“Tell your folks hi. And give your dad a hug for me. I’ve been praying for him.” I promise to pass on her message. My parents are well liked across the company. My dad’s hospital room was so full of flowers that it took two carts to get them out.
When I leave my office, I head to Beverly Hills to see my parents. I want to spend time with Dad, but now I can’t wait to get to Los Feliz, give Lucía the good news and celebrate with her.
By the time I leave my parents, I am in desperate need of a long hard swim and a session of yoga.
My dad is being stubborn and won’t stay in bed. My mother is frazzled. I’ve never seen her like this. She’s snapping at everyone, except my dad. When she screamed at me for chewing too loudly, I knew it was time to go. My dad’s going to be fine. He needs to take some medication and watch his diet, but otherwise, he’s in really good shape.
It was a minor heart attack. But, my mom is acting like he had a quadruple bypass and brain surgery. You’d think she’d been told he was dying. And as crazy as she’s making me, I like seeing this side of her. Generally, she’s not a warm person. Although I know that she loves my dad and that she loves me, she’s very pragmatic and doesn’t let love get in the way of what needs to be done or what needs to be said.
There are times when I’ve wished she was warmer. But she’s one of the most amazing women I know. She’s the real star in our family. The brains behind the entire operation. Our family is well regarded, widely respected and influential. She’s built that and she protects it fiercely.
My dad doesn’t care about these sorts of things, but her family is even older Hollywood than his. They founded this town. She believes that marriages should be alliances. And that children should be raised to take over the family dynasty. Appearances are important and must be kept up at all costs.
Seeing her go without her precious beauty sleep, miss meals and workouts and allow herself to be seen in less than full makeup has been a revelation.
The only person not surprised by my mother’s behavior is my father. He only smiled and said, “She loves me,” when I mentioned her transformation.
My father is the exact opposite of my mother, but he’s encouraged her to be who she is. He’s reveled in her career accomplishments. Her ambition is one of the things he loves most about her. So, while everyone else sees her as a stone-cold executive with no heart, my dad sees the woman he loves daring to be as great as she’s capable of.
He just loves her. She’s given him everything he’s ever wanted; a partner and a son. And they haven’t tried to change each other. That kind of unconditional love gives you wings, and that’s why they both fly so high.
The prospect of losing the person you share that kind of love with . . . it shakes you. And my mother has come undone. I hate that my dad had this health scare, but I feel like I’ve really gotten to know my mother in the last few days. I see how she and I are similar. People think I’m cold, pragmatic, calculating, too. But, when I care about something, or someone, I don’t hold back. And the way I feel about Lucía, is a full body experience. All of my senses are engaged and I feel completely in tune with her.
During the meeting, I watched her, so poised, so prepared, and in control. She completely mastered her presentation. I hope that as she reaches for her dreams, she’ll always be the bold, fearless, unstoppable woman she was today.
I want to be the only one that gets to see her completely undone. I remember how she fucked herself on my fingers. How she screamed when she came. That’s how I always want her when we’re alone. Moaning, coming, begging. Fuck if the past, the unchangeable past, is going to stop me from being with her.
I pull up to her house and as soon as I step out of my car, I can hear the music playing in the backyard. It’s a crooning Bob Marley, telling me not to worry about a thing. Yeah, Bob, easier said than done.
I ring the doorbell and Jessica comes to the door.
“Reece, hey!” she shouts, her blue eyes huge, her blond hair moving with the rest of her as she leans out to grab my arm and yank me inside.
“We’re out on the deck, cooking and having a drink. Lucía said the meeting went really well,” she says over her shoulder as she walks back down the hallway that leads to her kitchen and then out onto their deck. The music is loud. They’ve got the remains of a meal they obviously enjoyed scattered all over the table. Several empty bottles of wine, the sight of Todd bent in half laughing, Dan and Lucía dancing along to the music.
Lucía spins around in the middle of her dance and stops abruptly when she sees me. Her laughter dies on a gasp of delight, her eyes widening and dancing happily. Her expression settles the disquiet in my mind. Yes, we’ve got hurdles to clear. But, when I look at her, all I see is a walking embodiment of every single one of my dreams.
