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“You know, perhaps you deserve this. I’ve been trying to spare your feelings, but maybe you don’t really care.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” He was demanding and bewildered at the same time, a man used to being in control, not in control at the moment, and not happy about it.
“Reggie, I can’t be the submissive woman you want. I can’t be trained the way you trained Alex. I don’t want to be given away for sexual thrills. I don’t want to be led and manipulated and ordered into living out fantasies. I don’t have this wealth of fantasies. I’m not like Alex. I’m not that complex. I am a very simple woman who wants your love and nothing more. And I’ll do just about anything with you sexually, because I love the sex we have. I love it crazy and bizarre. You can tie me up, whip my ass, and screw me anywhere you like. But I’m never going to be that surrendering woman. I don’t have this deep seeded need inside my soul to yield, for you to play me like a dancing puppet. I just can’t, and that breaks my heart.” There were tears in her eyes when she finished. “Goddammit, I didn’t want to get all whimpering like some ninny,” she added.
“You don’t look that way to me,” he said. “You never have.”
“Thank god,” she said. To her surprise, Reggie didn’t seem at all upset by her speech.
“I think we have a major misunderstanding here, Jocelyn. And it’s likely as much my fault as it is yours.”
“What have I misunderstood? I’ve lived the best I could in your other world these last few months. It all seems pretty clear to me what you want.”
“Jocelyn, I don’t want you as a submissive, like Alex, or any of the others. I don’t want you to be anything but yourself.”
She looked bewildered.
“Granted, sometimes you’re annoying, and you’re certainly not what I’m used to. But what I don’t need in my life is another Alex. As delightfully charming as she is, she can be a whining brat, which gives me plenty of reason to spank her. But she never gave me what I really needed. I don’t want to train you, I don’t want to share you with anyone else. I realized that in Germany. I like the fact that you don’t need me the way all the women in my life need me. I hired a new secretary at work while you were gone. She’d heard rumors about me, and suddenly I’m paddling her ass because she wants to live out her fantasies. I don’t want that anymore. I want you.”
“You’re serious?” Jocelyn said, thinking for a minute that she was in the middle of a dream.
“As serious as I’ve ever been.”
“Oh, my god, I am going to cry. What the hell am I suppose to do?” she said. “I had it all figured and now you change it all.”
“You could give me a kiss hello,” he suggested.
She moved to him, looking into his eyes, and gave him a simple peck on the lips. He took her chin in his hand, and the next kiss lasted a little longer.
“This is a novel feeling for me. New territory. I think it’s time,” he added, just before he put an arm around her and led her back to the railing at the bow. They could see the yacht was making its way smoothly toward some far horizon that seemed as endless as the present instant. They remained there taking time to let the two previously horrifying minutes settle inside them.
“I never imagined you’d respond this way,” she finally said.
“Well, Neither did I,” he replied.
The yacht picked up speed and the water leaped enough to splash their faces with cold foamy liquid. They jumped back, laughed at themselves and went inside to get dry.
***
You two look like lovebirds,” Alex said, walking toward them with a tray of hors d’oeuvres in hand.
“You know you deserve one hell of a beating, my manipulating brat,” Reggie said.
“You sound so stern, but you’re laughing inside,” she chided. “Besides, I’d gladly take a good one just to see this look in your eyes.”
“And what look is that?”
“The ‘I’m in love with the woman on my arm look’,” she replied.
“I’ll have to watch
that,” Reggie said.
“No, you won’t,” Jocelyn said, nudging him. “Not after what you just told me.”
“I haven’t said I love you,” he reminded her.
“You will,” she answered confidently.
