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Before I knew what was happening, we were in my bedroom, on the bed. Kissing. Groping. Grasping for pleasure like animals in heat. A ravenous me I’d never known had suddenly emerged from hiding. I felt for his belt, the snap, the zipper and then tore away at his jeans until he scrambled free of them. However, before I could get a good look at his cock, he turned me around in his arms and began stripping away my pants until I was naked with Will’s rigid organ pressing against my bottom.
I wanted the feel of his cock inside me, the ache for him so deep it hurt. I prayed that he’d enter me before my fears rose up again. I could feel that fear lingering in the back of my thoughts. Again and again I pushed it back. I wouldn’t let it have its way. Not this time. Not this time.
When he turned me around and pushed me to my knees, there was an instant, but the sight of his erection, so close, so personal, so real, swept the fear away. I watched how right there before my lips his manhood bloomed in all its splendor. All I had to do was kiss it and take it into my mouth.
Impatiently, Will pressed my head to his cock. “Taste it, Alex,” he said, as if he were ordering me. My body responded to the command, drawing on a deeply submissive place I’d known only in my fantasies. My mouth opened and the hefty erection slipped inside. His scent was dark and earthy, like nothing I’d ever smelled, and as he moved in and out of my mouth in a steady rhythm, I realized that I would have stayed there fixed to his cock forever. But then he suddenly lifted me up so we were face to face, kissing again, rolling back and forth grasping and clawing like beasts. His cock was between my thighs, then suddenly inside me. Its fullness surprised me; it hurt to start, but it was no time at all before his inner body opened naturally, expanding to answer his pressing need.
There was no fantasy as rich as those passionate moments, as exquisite as the feel of real flesh. His hands were on my behind driving himself mercilessly into my cunt. I loved the wildness, the roughness of his thrusts. I wanted them faster and faster, and I screamed for his throbbing cock to come in me. “Yes, yes do it!” I heard myself cry out. I moaned as the glorious pleasure in my body mounted fast, peaking, reaching and finally bursting forth just as he was coming in a final savage thrust.
I sank down, out of breath and exhausted, and though Will collapsed onto me, he quickly rolled off coming to rest beside me as the sensations of orgasm slowly dwindled away. He kissed me tenderly, with an affection I wanted as much as I did the sex. And yet, my body was still so aroused that each kiss threatened to send me back into the fury from which we had just come. Each touch raised a new wave of excitement. My body was alive, needy, not as calm I would have thought. I wanted more. I pressed my mouth to his, not wanting any of this to end. I wanted to cling to him forever.
“What? Are these tears?”
I hadn’t realized I was crying. “I don’t know, I guess it was just so, so…amazing.”
He kissed me again and lightly touched my face. “You’re amazing,” he said.
There were no words to describe the feeling of relief I felt realizing that I had finally overcome my fears and discovered the kind of pleasure I’d always dreamt about.
“You were a virgin,” he said, seeing the spilt blood on the sheets.
“You’re surprised?”
“A little. Yes.”
“Well, it was only by minimum standards.”
“I should think so, I don’t see how you could make love so well with so little practice.”
“Just my raunch
y mind, I guessed.” I grinned.
“Well, I’d like to gaze into your raunchy mind and see what’s there.” He started tickling me until I couldn’t control myself.
“Stop!” I yelled, then I fell back into his arms, laughing.
“So tell me about all these naughty things you think about.”
It didn’t take but a second for the panic to rise in me again. “No, I’m not ready to do that, not yet. Please don’t spoil this night.”
His eyes gazed into mine as if he were seeing deep inside me. “Okay, you’re off the hook for now. But I want to know, and you are going to tell me.” He was perfectly serious and I knew he’d ask again, but at least the conversation could wait for another time. We lay together in the beautiful light – how romantic, the stars and moon were shining bright, as if giving me their blessing. I couldn’t imagine things being any more perfect than it was at that moment. So comfortable, so close, so complete…so not alone.
“You made love to Jane, didn’t you?” he suddenly asked. It had been quiet for a long while and the question took me by surprise.
I instantly tensed. I don’t know why I was surprised that he’d figured that out; he seemed to have an uncanny knowingness about so many things.
“Yes, I did,” I finally admitted.
“It doesn’t change anything between us. I want you to understand that.” It was exactly what I needed to hear. That night, our first night, we fell asleep in each other’s arms.
Chapter Eight
Every minute I spent with Will was heaven, every moment without him was hell. That first night of sex had opened a torrent of unmet needs. The dam had burst and I was ravenous. I couldn’t get enough of the sexy kisses, chiseled body and relentless cock. I loved every inch of his body, every word he spoke, every smile and smirk, every evil-eyed stare. He made me afraid and ecstatic and sexually bold, and cared for me with a gentleness that often left me breathless. He didn’t allow me to whine or hesitate or put him off, whether in the bedroom or out. He wanted every bit of me, body, mind and soul. Of course, there were things I hid away in secret, though I had a feeling that eventually he would get to those as well, in time.
On the nights when we were not together, my mind dove into unexplored places in my sexual psyche, dangerous frightening places. Each night alone, I tried to dream of Will and making love, but I couldn’t stop the rush of pictures that appeared out of nowhere in my mind. They assaulted my brain with a vile fervor, not letting me avoid them until I paid attention to the strange visions of straps and whips, of dominance and submission, of brutality and chilling coldness. The images sent my body quivering to new heights as I masturbated, although as soon as my orgasm was complete, I wished it hadn’t begun. Why couldn’t I think about Will and me, about being lovers and passionate sex?
As much as I tried to will it otherwise, my fantasy life refused to follow my instructions. Instead of happy sexual romance, I witnessed much stranger things. One fantasy in particular appeared with some regularity. I saw myself walking into elegant city mansions and beautiful estate houses where women were ornaments that decorated rooms and corridors with their beauty, where they served at the pleasure of commanding men. The worlds in my imagination were masculine, places where men of great power mixed ruthless passion and severity with the genteel politeness of good breeding. The rules were established by owners and masters; compliance to orders was mandatory. There were no other options in these worlds but to obey or leave. In my visions, I always chose compliance.
