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“Because I believed in what you were doing, Clive. And I trusted you when you said that they would bring me no harm. I trusted you. I did.” She stared at him wonderingly. “But maybe I am getting it now.” She nodded her head. “Yeah. Maybe now I understand the real reason…why you’ve been hanging on to me.”
“Oh? And what would that be?”
“After I ended our affair, you gave me to Greystoke to punish me, and when that wasn’t enough, you cooked up this scheme to get back at me, to remind me who I am. You never believed I could let it go, did you? That’s it, isn’t it? You knew what they’d do to me. You knew that I’d suffer blows that you couldn’t give me. And you wanted that. This has been your revenge, the ultimate payback.”
“Oh, my dear, you are stretching things now way out of proportion,” he almost laughed.
“I don’t think so.”
“Think what you want, but you survived to live another day. And look at you now, my sweet. You were exceptional. You were the only one who could have pulled this off. I knew I needed a bonafide masochist like you in that prison and that brothel. It’s too bad I couldn’t have pulled you out sooner, but some things can’t be helped. You don’t seemed to have suffered all that much.”
“That’s easy for you to say since I’m all in one piece. But let me go back to what I first said: you are a bastard, Clive Darcy. I hope I never lay eyes on you again.”
It was time to leave and she was moving toward the door, knowing that freedom was on the other side…
“So, what are you going to do now, Shelby?” he asked. His voice leapt out at her as it had so many times.
She froze a moment, turned around, and then without any further hesitation, she said: “First thing, I’m going to the company doctor and have the microchip removed so you can’t track me anymore. And the tattoo on my breast, I’ll have that removed too, so that my boyfriend won’t be freaked out every time he sees it.”
“Yes, well those are the easy things. But what are you going to do when those old desires start to leap up on you again and you have no sadist to turn to, hum? No man who will take you to those despicable places?”
“I don’t know, Clive. I lived without it for nearly three years, and did just fine. But I guess, if I really need it that bad, I’ll find another master.”
“Yes, I suppose the boyfriend won’t do,” he sneered. Something strangely mystifying about that particular sneer.
“What? What do you mean by that?”
“Nothing really. Just that your Padraig Finnian, isn’t it? He doesn’t seem to fit the class of man you’d be interested in.”
Class of man? “Well, I certainly wouldn’t want to find a lover from your class of man. Consider this my formal resignation and my final farewell, Clive. Mr. Darcy.” She took a deep breath. “You really are an ass.”
He smiled, chuckling darkly, which made her hesitate for just a few unguarded seconds. “I may be an ass and a bastard and all the things you say. But you, Shelby, still belong to me.”
She looked at him calmly and shook her head, feeling nothing, not even the most meager flash of masochistic thrill. This was very good. “No, Clive. Not anymore.”
If she’d rehearsed her lines a little more thoroughly she might have found a few more invectives to fling on him in response to that accusation, but her simple response worked just fine. She’d finally cut the ties to Clive Darcy. After ten years of his control, it was time.
If he didn’t believe what she said, maybe her emotion would have left its indelible mark. If her ‘vacation’ in Vienna had taught her anything, it was how to deal with truly villainous men, and Clive Darcy, her former owner really paled in comparison to men like Col. Jessup.
***
For several days after her return, Shelby stayed home, resting. She promised Padraig and Maureen that she would give herself some time before taking a shift at the coffeehouse. Padraig checked in on her in the evenings when he got off work. If he were tired, he’d give her a good night kiss and then go home. If he had a little more energy and she was willing, they made love.
However after a week with long hours at home alone, Shelby was getting antsy to resume her life.
“I need to work,” she argued with Maureen over the phone.
“Geez, Shel, after what you’ve been through, you can’t be…well…you can’t be…”
“Be what? Go ahead, say it.”
“You can’t be right yet.” She said this knowing only half of what Shelby had been through at the detention center.
“That’s just the point. I need some normalcy to heal. I need to do something other than rattle around in my apartment with nothing to do. I’ve slept until I can’t sleep anymore. I’m sick and tired of daytime TV. I’m bored with books and cleaning and eating. I need some human interaction, for crissakes!”
A long pregnant pause followed, and finally a reluctant, “Okay, but just for half a day, and if you show any signs of…well, breaking down, you’re out of here. I love you, but I need you sane, Shelby.”
“Oh, Maureen, you are a gem!”
