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Shelby shuddered anew as the memories came back to her with the fresh intensity of that terrifying scene. And still there was more to tell…
“I hated her more than I’ve hated any man who used me. The orgasm was not satisfying, but at least it ended the beating. Perhaps she had some sort of climax as a result, but she seemed for all her beauty to be as cold as stone when it was over – just as she was when the scene began. She showed not even the slightest bit of excitement. I could tell that the maid was uneasy and she wanted to leave as soon as it was over, but Mrs. Greystoke made her stay.
“Her friend, however, was a different matter altogether. She must have slipped out of the room at some point, because when I saw her again, she was dressed in the clothes of a Femdom: black corset, fishnets, high heels and this big black nasty strap-on sticking out from between her legs.
“The two women worked together with the pulleys until I was in a position where she would take my ass with some ease. Of course, the dildo that was already in my ass was removed, but the vibrator in my pussy stayed. The dildo harness must have had part of it that rubbed the woman’s clit, because as soon as she started fucking me, she started getting off. Grunting, groaning… really going crazy. For me, feeling her get off was the only thing about the whole incident that I enjoyed. For a while, I forgot about Mrs. Greystoke, who was standing there watching. The maid had slipped out by then, so it felt like just the two of us. I actually felt some genuine affection, maybe not affection, but lust. It was feminine, forceful and strangely tender. Her gloved hands touched me and I felt a sweet spark of desire take hold; nothing like I’d felt in my sexual experiences so far. She actually gave me hope…”
Shelby stared directly at Dr. Ramsey
“Perhaps the woman had a heart?” the doctor suggested.
“I think she did. In fact, afterwards, I’m just remembering this now,” Shelby went on excitedly, “she kissed me. She and Mrs. Greystoke had lowered me to the floor, and she was working on the ropes that bound my breasts. ‘I think these are much too tight, Jenna,’ she said. But Mrs. Greystoke didn’t agree with her. ‘We’re paying for this slave to perform. Long as she walks home on her own power, what we do to her doesn’t matter.’ They both kept working until I was free, then Mrs. Greystoke excused herself from the room, telling me, ‘You get your clothes and leave. You may tell Clive you were satisfactory.’’ The way they talked, I thought they were going to keep going, so this was good news. She left me with her friend still hovering above me, saying she’d see her in the morning room.
“With Mrs. Greystoke gone, the woman looked at me and smiled. Then she kissed me on the mouth. I still remember how soft her lips were, and the smell of her perfume. It was very sweet and earthy, almost like incense; the fragrance was still clinging to my skin when I got home. ‘You are a lovely woman,’ she said. I think she wanted to say more. In fact, I’ve imagined her telling me to stop doing such self-destructive things like this, but she didn’t go that far. But it felt good that she was worried about me. Even worried that she’d damaged me. Although, I don’t imagine she was thinking about that when she was getting off…”
“You think what you were doing was self-destructive?” Dr. Ramsey asked.
“That day I did,” she replied wistfully. “I don’t think it had ever occurred to me before.”
“And after?”
“I went back again. But there were only two more times with Greystoke – Mrs. Greystoke disappeared again like she was never even there. By the time I went back, all I wanted was to scrape up information that Clive could use against Greystoke. I got lucky that day. He left me dangling from the ropes because he needed to answer a phone call in the next room. He left the door open, probably thinking that I was too out of it to hear a thing, but I overhead plenty. That wasn’t my first big score, though. Right after the session with Mrs. Greystoke and her friend, I spent a long time with Greystoke’s date book. The two women had left the room and I’d been ordered out. But neither one stayed to see me leave. Greystoke would never have left me alone, not with sensitive material that close by. Not that he was suspicious of me in particular; but he would have been careful with anyone inside his house. I don’t know; maybe his wife wasn’t aware of his criminal activities so she had nothing to fear from me. Luck? Coincidence? Who’s to say? But between Greystoke’s date book and that telephone conversation, I learned everything that Clive wanted. Clive didn’t exactly admit that during the debriefing, but I could see his eyes light and that satisfied smirk…gave him away every time.”
“And that ended your sessions with Greystoke?”
“Just one more. I’m not sure why I went back. Habit, maybe. But it was worse than all the others. He did the usual stuff, maybe a little more extreme than normal, but any magic there’d been was lost. As far as spying for Clive, I think he had all the info he wanted. When I told Clive afterwards that I was done with man, he was surprised, but not really bothered. I guess he figured that I’d eventually tire of the bondage, even if it did earn me some decent money.
“Making the decision to stop may have been difficult, but once it was done, it was like a huge weight was lifted from me. There’d be no more stripping for Clive either. I was done with him too. I swore him off…”
“And were you done with him?” Dr. Ramsey asked.
“I was.” Shelby laughed a little with a shamed face. “Except for a night about three months later when I came to the office for money he owed me. He was very good at sensing my vulnerable moments and sliding into them like a wedge. He pried me wide open with a few keen observations and we fell into a scene that I still regret. He poured out a cold wrath on me, bondage, and pain and sex…hard nasty sex. Of course, I came. I’d been programmed to come with that kind of rough abuse. But it felt as empty as the last time I was with Greystoke. That was the last time with Clive Darcy.
“I told him over the phone that I wouldn’t be coming back. I’m sure he didn’t think I was serious. After all the time I’d backpedaled, why would it would be different? He suggested that we meet occasionally for lunch, ‘nothing formal’ he said. He had assignments for me. Easy stuff. Nothing dangerous. No bondage, no sex. No debriefings.”
“And you took his offer?”
“Sure. There was money in it, money I needed for the coffeehouse. But I didn’t want to see him. I stipulated that he was to make arrangements over the phone. I wasn’t going to see him anywhere for at least three months. He accepted that.”
“And you kept to your word?”
“I did. In fact, it was probably five months before I saw him again, and by then there was Padraig.”
Dr. Ramsey raised her eyebrows as if she really would have liked to have heard about him, but the hour was up.
“Maybe you can tell me about Padraig in our next session,” she said.
Chapter Fifteen
Session Five…
“You’ve had a busy life in the years since we had our first sessions.” Dr. Ramsey opened the next hour with that observation, to which Shelby jumped right in:
“I guess I have.”
“But you haven’t even approached the reason you called three weeks ago. Am I right?”
“Yes,” she grinned self-consciously.
