AllFreeNovel
Share Us
At the rate things are going, I’ll be getting the worst grades of my academic career this semester, and if it weren’t for the fact that I need to keep up appearances, I probably would’ve stopped coming to school at all.
If I stare at my professors and really make myself listen to what they’re saying, I can manage to keep my attention on them for a few minutes, but it inevitably slips away before long, going back to the guys and my dad and the whole fucked up situation.
I feel like I’m spiraling. I stayed in my room for most of the night last night, trying to get my head on straight, but I feel just as messed up and confused as I did before. I keep replaying the scene with Rory in the garage, from the way he touched and kissed me to the look on his face when he thought he’d fucked up. I can’t manage to get it out of my head, and nothing my professors have to say about English literature or sociology help at all.
I pull out my phone as I sit in the back of the classroom and find my text thread with Scarlett. I’ve been worried about her knowing too much, but having someone who does know who I can talk to is a good thing.
ME: I think I’m losing my mind.
The reply comes just a few seconds later.
SCAR: Why? What’s up?
ME: The guys. My dad. Everything. I really fucked up this weekend.
SCAR: What did you do?????????
The extra question marks really sum up the situation.
I glance up to make sure no one’s looking at me and then quickly give her the rundown of how the weekend went. I tell her about Sloan getting hurt, and me helping him and feeling conflicted about it. I tell her about the race and how Sloan and I nearly fucked in an alley of all places. And then about the zoo and Rory and the garage and how I have no idea what I’m doing anymore.
Her message comes back pretty damn quickly considering the wall of text I sent her to get the whole story out.
SCAR: You’re making them trust you. That was the plan, right?
And it is the plan. I need them to believe they can trust me and tell me things, and it’s been working better than I hoped. But the problem is, I’m not just playing them anymore. My feelings are getting tangled up in this whole mess, and I tell Scarlett that. I have no idea what kind of insight she can even give to help me, but it feels good to tell someone at least. Just so that I’m not alone with it inside my own head.
ME: Yeah. I just didn’t expect it to be like this
.
SCAR: Sloan killed your dad. You don’t want to be with someone like that, right? The other two might be okay, but they’re part of this too. So that means they can never really be on your side.
She’s right, of course. Sloan’s a murderer and the other two definitely won’t be willing to just leave him behind or turn their backs on the gang. That’s not how being in a gang works. So it’s a moot point, and I don’t know why I’m stressing out about it so much. Scar would never call me an idiot, but that’s what I’m being, probably.
As if she can read my thoughts, Scarlett sends another text through a second later.
SCAR: But I’m on your side no matter what, girl. You know that, right? Whatever you decide to do, I’m here for you.
A small smile tugs at my lips. Having her say she supports me no matter what I decide to do is a nice feeling, and by the time I’m done with classes for the day, I feel a little better than I did before.
When I get back to the house, I head up to my room, fully intending to faceplant on the bed for an hour or two before I have to face Levi and the other two again. I need to get better at keeping control over the situation before I go down there and talk to them. But when I open my door and step into the bedroom I’ve been staying in, I freeze at the sight of another dress laid out on my bed.
The last time this happened, it was because the guys wanted me to go to a Black Roses party with them, and it did not end well, all things considered.
That dress was red and slinky, and this one is a deep, dark blue and just as lovely. It clearly means they want something, so I take a deep breath and pick up the dress, then go back downstairs ahead of schedule, walking into the kitchen where they’re all gathered.
“So what’s up with this?” I ask, not bothering with any other greeting as I hold the dress aloft. “Is there another party or something?”
I can’t see why they’d want me to come, considering how the last one went. That’s when I got the call from my dad where he sounded so fucking freaked out—the one where it seemed like he thought he was in danger—and I was so upset afterward that I accidentally downed a drink laced with molly. I don’t think any of us want a repeat of that night. But maybe there’s some other event that’s important to Black Rose business, and we’re all going to go.
“No,” Sloan says, speaking to me directly for the first time since the race and our encounter in the alley. I glance at him, and he stares right back, his face expressionless. “I’m taking you out tonight.”
For a second, I’m pretty sure I misheard him, but my eyebrows shoot up all the same. He didn’t say “we” as in all the guys, he said “I.”
As in… just him.
I try to think quickly, rifling through my memories, but I’m pretty sure I’ve never been alone with Sloan, unless you count the times we’ve almost had sex. Levi takes me to school every day, and I’ve been out with Rory, but I usually only interact with Sloan with the others around too.
