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ace, and she went back to looking over the menu.
“Right… I’ll leave my card for you? At the very least you can still cash in on the menu here.”
“Sure. Thanks.”
I took the call off hold, keeping my eyes on Mackenzie. “Hey, Williams? Yeah, I’ll be in in about half an hour. Don’t start the meeting without me.”
I hung up and stood, adjusting my suit jacket. I took Mackenzie’s hand, making her look up to me. I saw the disappointment there, no matter how much she tried to hide it. Mackenzie had always been an open book in her expressions—so easy to read, especially if someone knew where and how to look.
“I’ll make it up to you,” I promised. “Just the two of us.”
She shook her head, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear as she looked back at the menu. “No, don’t worry about it. You don’t owe me anything. Really.”
I pressed my lips to her temple in apology, but this kiss felt nothing like our kiss at the courthouse had. It felt forced. Unreciprocated. I didn’t know what to make of her reaction, or the way my heart twisted at the look on her face, but I didn’t have time to figure it out now.
Duty called.
* * *
“I don’t understand. You knew about this? You knew it was coming, but you’re just now telling me?”
Mackenzie’s voice filtered in across the line, a mix of confusion, accusation, and hurt. I stood in the middle of JFK International, a single carry-on suitcase with me, and my father off somewhere getting a beer before boarding.
In less than an hour, I’d be on a plane to Tokyo.
I pushed my hand through my hair. I couldn’t really blame her for being mad at me, for not understanding.
“I didn’t know how to tell you,” I confessed. “Dad’s been… he hasn’t been right since Mom died. He’s had an awful time coping. He wants to move closer to the Tokyo office and do more with the business—”
“But what does that have to do with you?”
“I mean—Macks, I can’t not go with him.”
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it,” she whispered, her voice breaking.
I knew. Of course I knew. She meant why hadn’t I told her sooner. She meant why had I waited until I was almost on the plane to tell her I was leaving. She meant why had I not trusted her enough with what was going on in my life to include her in it. There was no right answer—there was no easy answer.
“I didn’t want to say goodbye,” I said finally, clearing my throat as I felt it tightening up. “I didn’t want to have to look you in the eye and say that I was going away. You don’t understand—”
“No, I don’t.” There were tears in her voice, and I closed my eyes, hating that I’d put them there. “But I’ve always tried, haven’t I?”
“Yeah… yeah… you have.”
Silence fell between us, and she sighed softly. It sounded like she was bracing herself for something.
“Okay. Fine. So you’re moving. Your dad needs some time to process this. You’re going with him because it’s the right thing to do. I can handle that, Walker. Just don’t… please don’t shut me out, okay?”
* * *
It had been easy to say yes to Macks that day.
Don’t shut her out? I could never shut her out. I’d had no idea how I was going to cope without her in my life. She’d been the brightest spot of light in my existence since my mother had died of cancer.
But after the final message I left her, I hadn’t been able to bring myself to call her anymore. It had hurt too much. I’d always meant to man up and reach out to her again… but somehow, it had never happened. One week turned into a month, and months turned into a year. I was buried under work, trying to be the son my father needed me to be, the businessman our company demanded me to be.
The look on Mackenzie’s face as I turned from her and left the restaurant made me feel the weight of that choice I’d made all those years ago. She was strong—always had been. I knew she’d be all right.
But I’d disappointed and hurt her, and I hadn’t even meant to.
