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He’s already written down over half the names in the class, and neither the guys’ nor mine have come up yet. My stomach turns into a hard knot as I realize he’s grouping people according to their seating assignments.
I feel Reese turn toward me, and when I glance at him, his green eyes are sparkling, lit from within. I can’t figure out the emotion behind them, and I quickly turn away, gritting my teeth. When I look back toward the whiteboard, sure enough, written under the heading of Team Six is: Reese, West, Trent, and Emma.
“Now, I’d like you to get together with your team for the remainder of class and discuss your approach. I’ll be handing out packets that explain everything in detail,” Professor Sykes goes on.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Trent turn to me, and unlike Reese, he’s not smiling at all. There’s fire in his eyes.
Everyone in the room begins to rearrange their desks so that they’re facing one another, and as I do the same, I feel my entire body tense up. I’ve been avoiding prolonged, direct eye contact with the guys, and now, I won’t be able to hold off any longer. All around me, I hear the other groups chatting and laughing, but Team Six remains silent for some time.
“Is everything alright?” Professor Sykes asks as he comes to our group and hands out our packets, no doubt sensing the tension amongst us.
“Everything is great,” Trent replies darkly.
I look over and meet West’s eyes. He scares me the most out of the three of them, even though I think Trent hates me more. West terrifies me because he tries to keep everything inside until he can’t possibly contain it anymore—and then the tension snaps and bursts out of him, and it’s anybody’s guess what the fallout will be.
West, of course, doesn’t say a thing in response to my look. I’m not sure if I’m relieved or more worried.
Reese glances down at the pages that have been handed to him and shakes his head. Does that mean it’s a super tough assignment? I don’t even dare look down to check. It’s hard enough acing any project, but in a group like this, it becomes nearly impossible.
This can’t be happening. This just absolutely can’t be happening.
“Trent, I’d like you to be the team leader,” Professor Sykes finally says, still eyeballing us like he’s wondering if he’s made a mistake. Or maybe he did do this on purpose, as some sort of sick anthropological experiment.
“Of course.” Trent lifts his chin arrogantly.
I’m not surprised. Trent is kind of the leader of the pack. He was back in high school too. He’s the most stubborn of all the guys, and he was the original source for the bullying. Reese is the smartest, if you ask me, but he doesn’t always show it. West is just… well, West.
After Professor Sykes leaves, the silent tension falls over us again. Every so often, Trent laughs to himself malignantly, and West is staring at me like he’s trying to burn a hole in my fucking skull.
Finally, my mouth snaps open. I just can’t take it anymore. “We can’t sit here during the whole class, not saying anything.”
The buzz of friendly, relaxed voices around us seems to drive home my point, but Trent just shrugs.
“I think we can.”
“Come on, man,” Reese says, trying to calm him down. Even I can tell he’s already riled up.
“This is serious, Trent.” I almost stumble over the last word, realizing as I speak that it’s the first time I’ve said his name aloud in years.
“You don’t realize how serious it really is,” he replies, all kinds of meaning in his voice.
“This is bullshit,” I mutter under my breath, seething with anger. I lean forward, lowering my voice a little. “I don’t know what you all came here for, but I’m here to learn and I intend to succeed. I need to pass this class. Maybe your parents can afford an extra year of tuition if you flunk out of a 101 class, but that’s not in my plans, okay? I want us to do well on this.”
“Yeah? Well, we don’t always get what we want,” West grunts, and I’m taken aback that he’s spoken at all.
“That doesn’t mean we stop trying,” I insist.
“Do you really think I’m gonna forget the past for the sake of an anthropology assignment, Emma?” Trent scoffs.
“He has a point,” Reese adds, nodding toward him in solidarity.
How is it that I can never tell what side Reese is on? He taunts me and he stands with his boys, but when he looks into my eyes, I still see something that looks almost… soft.
“I’m not asking anyone to forget about the past.” I grit my teeth. “I certainly fucking won’t. I’m just saying that in this classroom, we create a neutral territory, okay? There’s a lot of fucked up history between us, and we can’t make that go away, but we can drop it for a couple hours a day in order to focus on something bigger than ourselves.”
Silence follows, and I let it hover over us as I wait for someone to give me an answer. There are so many other choice words I’d like to use, like “grow the fuck up” or even “man up.” Or maybe “go fuck yourself, you fucking assholes.” But I know if I say any of that, I can basically kiss my college experience goodbye.
West and Reese look to Trent to see what he wants to do. They don’t follow him like sheep or anything, but they’ve always seemed to defer to him when it comes to me. Which makes no sense to me, because I turned them all down when they asked me out. It’s not like I hurt him specifically.
