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Against my will, I looked over at Trace, unable to resist the need to see his reaction too.
He wore his feelings even more openly than Lachlan did. He had risen to his feet, and he looked straight-up jealous, like he was considering walking over and kicking Merrick’s ass.
Oh, fuck.
A sudden barrage of memories flooded my mind—flashes of all the moments, large and small, I had shared with each of the men. Without meaning to, over the past several weeks, I had grown closer and closer to all of them. My walls had started to come down, and I’d gotten to see so much more of them than the cocky exteriors they showed the world.
I’d started to develop feelings for each of them.
And now I’d just kissed Merrick in front of them.
Well, I guess it wasn’t enough that we’re up against fucking fire dragons, killer butterflies, and giant spiders. Why not throw in some super awkward sexual tension into the mix while we’re at it?
The thought would’ve made me laugh if I hadn’t been struck by the sudden fear that this was about to splinter our makeshift team into pieces.
Already, I could see Lachlan and Trace regarding Merrick with stony faces. And I couldn’t look any of them in the eye. I had no idea how to explain what I was feeling, and I hated that by kissing Merrick, I seemed to have closed a door on the developing feelings between me and the other two.
That’s fucking bullshit. That’s not what I wanted.
It was hard to regret the kiss I’d shared with Merrick when my body was still flushed with heat from it, my heart still beating harder in my chest from his words.
But the fallout? Oh yeah, I was regretting that already.
Silence hung between the four of us, and none of the guys seemed like they were in any hurry to break it. They wer
e staring at each other like gunslingers in the Wild West having a standoff, and if the heavy tension lasted any longer, I was positive I was going to explode.
So I reverted to my usual coping mechanism.
Avoidance.
Choosing to ignore the elephant in the room, I brushed my hands off on my pants and reached down to grab the rations Merrick and I had removed from the pack, holding them up and waggling them.
“We got dinner ready.” I glanced at Lachlan, keeping my voice airy and bright. “You said the perimeter is secure?”
“Uh. Yeah…” He shook his head as if to clear it, his gaze still shifting back and forth from Merrick to me. “There’s only one other way into this place besides the entrance we came through. So it’s not entirely secure, but better than what we’ve faced out there in the jungle.”
“Great.” I stepped past him toward where Trace stood a few yards from the lake’s edge. “Let’s eat then.”
“Yeah, sure.”
I heard Lachlan’s disgruntled murmur behind me, and a moment later, he and Merrick came up to join me and Trace, watching each other like two predators approaching a watering hole.
Good gods. Men.
All four of us settled into a rough circle, using medium-sized rocks as seats. We sat near enough to the lake of fire to feel its warmth, but not so close that the air we breathed seemed burnt.
The stifling silence fell again as I distributed the rations, and when I handed Trace his, his fingers tangled with mine briefly, the contact between us sending a surprising jolt of heat through me. My gaze flew to his in shock, and what I saw in his eyes unnerved me more than the sensation had.
It was something soft, almost… pleading.
Like he was asking me without words to choose him.
Truthfully, I shouldn’t be choosing any of these guys. Getting attached to them was dangerous. We had agreed to partner up until we reached the end of the challenge, but that put a specific end date on our time together. Everything felt weird and heightened out here, where threats lurked around every corner and we had all saved each other’s lives more than once.
Of course I felt close to each of them here. Of course I’d developed feelings for them.
Of course they thought they had feelings for me.
