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‘Is he the only man you’ve had since we broke up?’
‘Is Victoria the only woman you’ve had since we broke up?’
She matched his burning gaze with one of her own. This was dangerous territory they were treading. For him it was just a heated exchange, one he felt he had the right to indulge. For her this was a release of passion that threatened to tip over into something else—something for which she would never forgive herself.
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake! I’m not going out with Robbie,’ she confessed unsteadily. ‘Okay? I’m not going out with him and never was. We’ve only ever been good friends.’
‘Then why the pretence?’ Alessandro released her and stepped back, shaken by what he had felt just then. ‘Did you feel that you had to prove something to me?’
Megan was rubbing her wrist, glad of the small distance he had put between them. At least now her breathing stood a chance of returning to normal.
‘Of course I didn’t feel that I had to prove anything to you!’ She drew in a shaky breath. ‘Okay, maybe there was a bit of that. Can you blame me? You suddenly show up and you’ve got the perfect life—the life you always wanted. You’ve made your money, and I’m guessing you have a fan club of admirers and people who would bend over backwards to do whatever you want them to do…The past is just some horrible, dusty old memory you’ve stuck away in a box somewhere…And to top it off you’ve found the woman of your dreams and you’re marrying her…When, by the way? I never asked…When is the wedding set for?’
‘We haven’t set a date yet.’ Alessandro wondered how it was that his perfect life was beginning to feel so damned complicated and imperfect. Hadn’t he achieved everything he had ever wanted?
‘So…’ Megan shrugged, and then grinned ruefully—because what was the point getting all worked up when there were people out there having fun?
Perhaps the punch had lowered her defences, making her think that if, now and again, she still had that old familiar pull towards him, then it wasn’t that surprising, was it? Everyone carried a certain weakness for their first love.
‘Can you blame me if it suited me for you to think that I had a boyfriend? Truth is, I have had boyfriends—but not Robbie.’ And just in case he took that small confession as a sign that she was somehow still hankering for him, she added, ‘But as far as not moving on with my life, you couldn’t be further from the truth—and it’s not just that I’ve done what I always wanted to do career wise. I learnt a big lesson from you. I really learnt what sort of man I should be attracted to…The guys I’ve gone out with have been kind, funny, smart, caring…’
‘Kind, funny, smart, caring…Hmm…Yet the relationships haven’t lasted, I take it? Or else one of these wonder men would still be somewhere on the scene…helping little old ladies across roads…making you laugh as he whipped up a soufflé for dinner…having a serious, in-depth conversation about the joys of being broke…’
Megan didn’t like where she thought that innocuous remark was heading—and she liked his sarcastic tone of voice even less. ‘Sometimes things don’t work out. It’s no big deal. I mean, I’d rather kiss a thousand frogs on the way to finding my prince.’
‘Kiss a thousand frogs? Find a prince? What planet are you living on, Megan? That’s the sort of cliché an adolescent with starry eyes might come out with! Not that unfailing optimism isn’t a heart-warming trait, but haven’t you realised by now that life isn’t about finding the ideal—it’s about learning how to compromise?’
‘Is that what you’re doing with Victoria, Alessandro? Compromising?’
‘I’m using my head, Megan. In life, it’s what people do if they are to succeed.’
‘Does she know that you’re just compromising?’ Megan found that she preferred the word compromise to the phrase using his head. Compromise, in her eyes, meant that she could remove him from that pedestal of total achievement which he had been so smugly pleased to show her that he occupied. Compromise was all about making do. No one compromised because they wanted to; they compromised because they couldn’t work out another option.
‘Well…’ for the first time since she had seen him again after all this time, Megan decided that she could safely occupy the high ground. ‘I may be an eternal optimist, but I refuse to compromise my emotional life because it makes sense. And if I were going out with a man, I’d hate to think that he was only marrying me because it was the practical thing to do. As if,’ she continued, getting into the swing of things, ‘your personal life, the way you feel, can be worked out on a piece of paper like…like a budget!’
