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“Look, Grace, I’m sorry, but…”
She tried to make herself breathe slowly, but her heart was racing. “But what? Did you file charges?”
He was silent for so long that her hands started shaking.
“No,” he finally said. “But I will if I have to.”
“I gave up a lot for you,” she said past numb lips.
Scott’s laugh sounded genuinely confused. “You got fired and I let you move in. What did you give up?”
“That’s not what I meant.” But even to her, the words sounded weak. He couldn’t know what she’d given up. And it had been her job to say no to it in the first place. “I’ll send you some money in a few days, all right? And I’ll send all of it as soon as I can.”
She hung up before he could say anything else.
She had given up a lot. The only reason she’d been working on that film set in the first place had been because of Scott. He’d wanted her to be more successful, more mainstream. He’d convinced her that it was the next logical step in her life. She’d gotten off the streets. She’d found her gift and gone to school. And she’d slowly found some measure of security in her life. But it had never felt secure. Crappy apartments, crappy cars. Fun jobs with independent films that didn’t pay much. She’d supplemented by working some print jobs, but she’d still lived pretty close to the bone.
But she’d lived on her terms. Her life had been good. Then she’d met Scott and he’d started asking questions. Why don’t you push yourself? Where will you be in five years? Don’t you want to challenge yourself? He’d tapped into her insecurities about money and safety. He’d convinced her that her life wasn’t enough. And she’d let him.
She’d changed for him, like those stupid girls with low self-esteem she’d spent years mocking. Like her mother. She’d changed for a man and she’d lost everything. Just the way she’d deserved to.
She’d never, ever do that again. Subvert her own needs. Make herself small. Keep her head down in fear that she’d piss a guy off and he’d kick her out.
Her mom had done that. Over and over. As far as Grace knew, her mom was still doing it. Making herself into a meek partner for one man after another.
Grace was just about to power down her phone when it rang. Her thumb hovered over the red button as she waited for the caller ID to pop up. When it did, it wasn’t Scott’s name. It was Cole’s.
“Can I interest you in a drink?” he asked as soon as she answered.
“A drink,” she repeated, glancing toward her door.
“A drink. As a peace offering, maybe?” He sounded as if he was trying to be charming, but there was a strain in the friendly drawl. Some rough edge that snuck into the ends of his words. He was stressed out, and so was she.
“You already apologized,” she said. “And I accepted. So I don’t need a peace offering.”
“Right.”
Her hands were still trembling. Her head screamed with tension. She took a deep breath. “But if what you’re really calling about is my proposal that we have sex again, then yes. Let’s.”
Silence greeted her words. In fact, he was silent so long she had time to walk to the kitchen and open the peanut butter.
“Now?” he finally said.
She grabbed a plastic knife. “In a few. If you want to.”
Another pause. Briefer this time. “Yes,” he said.
“Good. I’m going to take a shower. See you soon.” She hung up and felt a tight smile stretch her mouth. Men were so funny. They never knew how to react to a woman who approached sex the way a guy did. They thought it was a trick. A mirage. As if she couldn’t want it as much as they did.
She liked that. Men always thought they were the ones doing the using. They thought they were taking advantage or breaking you down. There was nothing better than making it clear that with her, that wasn’t the case. She needed a release right now, and she’d take it.
Half a peanut butter sandwich later, Grace realized she could hear water humming distantly through pipes. Cole was getting in the shower. This time, she wanted to see him naked, not just half-dressed. She wanted his whole body under her hands.
The thought turned her on with immediate and startling thoroughness. She wanted him naked and hard right now. She liked that she’d shocked him. Liked that feeling of wicked power. She wanted more of it.
Grace tossed the last of her sandwich, too turned on to think about anything but getting ready. For sex. With a big, rough cowboy who made her say and do dirty things for him.
Hell, yeah. After this shitty day, that was just what she needed. She showered and shaved and used the last of her favorite body cream, loving the silky feel of her skin as she rubbed it in. She wanted him to moan when he touched her. Wanted him turned on by the barest brush of skin.
