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“The pictures you send are so pretty. And they make me miss you so much. And how’s Grace doing?”
“Well, let’s see, she’s got a super hot cowboy boyfriend who carries her off to his ranch house nearly every night. She seems pretty good.”
“I’m going to have to come out there just to see that.”
“You should, Mom. I miss you.” She swallowed her sudden tears and changed the subject. “How are you, Mom?”
“Great!”
“Are you seeing anyone yet?” This was an old conversation between them. Her mom had rarely dated when Merry was growing up and nothing seemed to have changed since then. Merry sighed at the silence. “Come on, Mom. You have to try.”
“Oh, I don’t know.”
“I feel like you gave up dating for my sake, and I want you to meet someone. There’s probably someone in your life right now if you’d just open your eyes. You have so many friends. Everyone likes you. I thought your new neighbor seemed interested.”
“Who, Charles?” She laughed. “Oh, my gosh, no.”
“Then who?”
Her mom stayed quiet for a long time before she finally cleared her throat. “It’s just… It’s hard, Merry.”
“I know.” She sighed. Maybe being terrible at dating was a genetic trait. “I’d just like to see a man in your life, Mom. I didn’t need a dad, and I know you don’t need a husband, but I used to imagine that someday you’d fall in love with a big strong guy. Someone who could fix things around the house and mow the lawn and get stuff off the top shelf, not because you can’t, but because you deserve a break. Don’t you want that?”
“Oh, Merry.” She sighed, her voice sounding a little shaky. “I don’t know what to say to that. I wish I could’ve given you that when you were a little girl. A nuclear family. The American dream.”
“I didn’t need that.”
“When you were little, you used to make your Barbie and Ken get married every day.”
“I did not!”
“Yes, you did. I’d hear voices in your room, and I’d go listen to you act it out. And the boy doll would…” Her voice cracked before she could speak again. “Ken would always say, ‘You and your little girl don’t need to worry anymore, sweetheart. I’ll take care of you now.’”
Merry pressed a hand to her parted lips. “No.” She shook her head in horrified shock. “I did not.”
“Yes, you did. And I would try to make myself imagine that I could meet someone and give you a family, but I just…I couldn’t. I don’t know why. I wanted to, for you.”
“Oh, Mom, no. I didn’t need that. I must have been really small, because I don’t remember even playing with Barbies.”
“You gave them up when you discovered Star Wars. Well, you didn’t give them up. You made them play Princess Leia and Han Solo and then there was a tragic crash onto an ice planet pond that wasn’t quite frozen, and they were lost forever.”
Merry laughed past the tears that thickened her throat. “I remember that!”
“It was big news in the neighborhood. You told everybody you saw. You were so excited.”
They were both laughing now, thank God. Merry sighed. “I remember after that you saved up and bought me action figures.”
“You were a good girl. You deserved them.”
“I feel the same way about you and dating.”
“Oh, let’s forget that. I don’t need a date. I’m wonderful. I was only calling to let you know about your cousin.”
Jesus, Merry had forgotten for a moment, and she groaned in remembered dread. Her mom offered yet another scolding about appreciating your family, but as soon as they said goodbye, Merry called Grace.
“Can I pretend your apartment is mine?” she asked without explanation.
Grace didn’t hesitate. “Sure. Anytime.”
