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“Hi. Is the offer still good?”

Hope blew past wariness into full-on excitement. “Yes – absolutely – yes!”

“Then I’m in,” I said, a lot less enthusiastic than Glen. “What do I do?”

“You’ll need to come by the office so we can set you up… and then we’ll put you on the next plane to LA.”

61

Four Years Ago

Derek walked me back to my room. Neither of us said much on the way up the stairs. I was seriously nervous; he was Mr. Calm, Cool, and Unruffled.

“You need help packing?” he asked.

“Um… I guess…”

I unlocked the door and we stepped inside. Shanna’s half of the room was stripped bare – metal-frame bed, old mattress, empty wooden desk. I felt lonelier just looking at it.

“Can I ask you a favor?” Derek asked.

“Um… depends on what the favor is…”

“Can you not leave today, and just stay one more night?” he asked, staring into my eyes.

“I… I told my parents I’d be back today…”

“I’m probably never going to see you again once you leave. Could you please, please just stick around one more night and give me some more time with you?”

One more night.

The phrase made me weak in the knees.

Maybe from how many times I’d heard it in love songs.

“…please,” he whispered.

All the little voices in my head were screaming, No! Don’t! Bad idea!

But the feelings in my body were saying something else entirely.

“…okay.”

He grinned, one of the happiest smiles I’d ever seen him wear. “Good. Thanks.”

I nodded and just stood there looking at him.

“Don’t you need to call them?” he asked, concerned.

“…who?”

“Your parents.”

“Oh – oh yeah…”

Damn it was so easy to get lost in his eyes…

I got my phone out of my purse and started to dial –

“Could you, uh, talk to them out in the hall?” he asked.

I frowned. “What? Why?”

“I have a surprise for you.”

I stared at him. “What?”

“You’ll see.”

“You need me to be out of the room while you set it up?”

“Yeah. Otherwise it wouldn’t be a surprise,” he said in a smart-aleck voice.

I looked at him apprehensively. “…okay…”

“Thanks,” he grinned.

Then he pushed me out the door and closed and locked it behind me.

62

The phone call didn’t take long. If I’d talked to my dad, I would have gotten a thousand questions about why I was changing my plans, and a hurt tone of voice about not coming home to see the family tonight.

Luckily I got my mom, who’s a lot more relaxed about these sorts of things.

“Some people on the hall are having an after-finals party, and I’d really like to stick around for it,” I said as I paced nervously down the hall, away from my room. “I didn’t find out about it until this afternoon, which is why – ”

“That’s fine, honey. Have fun – just be careful, okay?”

“Okay, Mom.”

“Don’t drink anything unless it’s out of a bottle or a can, or you see where it comes from. I don’t want anyone roofie-ing you.”

“Nobody’s going to roofie me, Mom.”

“And don’t give your drink to anybody when you go to the bathroom. Just take it with you.”

“I’m not even going to be drinking, Mom! Not alcohol, anyway – ”

“Then why are you even going to the party?”

My mom is pretty open-minded, to say the least.

Maybe too open-minded, seeing as what happened seven years ago.

“I don’t know, because it’s fun, maybe?!”

“Just be careful and don’t drink too much.”

“I told you, I’m not going to drink – ”

“And don’t drink and drive.”

“I’m in the dorm, Mom! I’m not driving anywhere!”

“And use a condom.”

“I’m with Kevin, Mom!” I hissed, and glanced down the hall at my room.

The door was still shut.

Why did I do that?

There was no reason to do that…

“Okay, no judgment – just be safe.”

“Goodbye, Mom!”

And then I hung up in exasperation.

Looking back, I know she was just looking out for me. And she actually gave me great advice.

But having your mom tell you if you cheat on your boyfriend, to use a condom?

Jesus.

Considering what she had done when I was twelve, the advice was excruciating to hear.

What was even more excruciating was my fear that ‘like mother, like daughter’ wasn’t just a saying.

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