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Incredibly erotic, sensual, and astoundingly hot touching… but just touching.
…right?
But I came to the conclusion that if Bill Clinton is your measuring stick in matters of sexual faithfulness, you really fucked up somewhere along the way.
69
I lay there for a long time in Derek’s arms as he spooned me like before.
I noticed this time that he quite conspicuously kept his pelvis from touching me.
I was glad.
Sort of.
…no, not really.
But I knew I couldn’t feel that thick, hard pressure against my body and hold back.
True to his word, he just held me. No touching, no caressing, no kissing, no nothing.
And I didn’t make a move on him… even though I knew what incredible delights lay beneath his clothes. Even though I knew I could just make the slightest motion, and then he would take it from there… and I could temporarily forget everything else, swept away by passion and ecstasy.
But my misery was enough to keep me in check.
Something Shanna had said kept echoing in my mind. I’m sure if she had known the effect it would have on me, she never would have said it… but it was as effective as a chastity belt.
At least I don’t tell some guy I love him and then fuck around behind his back.
So I never made a move.
It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life.
70
I woke in the morning facing him. The sun poured through the blinds and kissed his hair with light. His sleeping face was so serenely beautiful that I ached to touch it.
But I kept my hands by my side and just contented myself with watching him sleep.
Eventually his eyes fluttered open.
As soon as he saw me, he smiled groggily.
“…hey.”
“Hey,” I whispered.
“I kept my promise.”
“You did,” I agreed.
“I want a present for doing that.”
I looked at him warily. “…what?”
“A kiss.”
I winced.
I wanted to so badly… but I knew I shouldn’t.
He saw my look. “Just a little one. Just three seconds.”
“I have morning breath!” I protested.
“So do I. I don’t care.”
“But – ”
He didn’t wait for an answer, he just lunged.
I giggled and shrieked and rolled over on my back to get away from him.
He rolled on top of me and fought to kiss my mouth, both of us laughing, wrestling –
And then his lips found mine, and I stopped struggling.
And kissed him back.
His lips pressed so soft and warm against mine… so sensual… and I could feel my whole body giving in to him, relaxing under his weight –
And then he broke it off and rolled away to the side.
“That’s all you get,” he teased.
“AAAH!” I yelled, and threw the pillow at him as he laughed.
71
I brushed my teeth and showered in the empty women’s bathroom down the hall. The entire time, I fantasized about him pulling back the curtain and barging in on me, entirely naked, his cock already hard, taking me against my protests, pinning my hands to the tile wall, ravishing me under the hot water –
But he didn’t come in.
I finished the shower, toweled off, dressed, and blow-dried my hair alone.
When I got back, he borrowed my mouthwash and went downstairs to the boy’s bathroom. When he got back, his breath smelled like mint…
…but his body still smelled like what we had done the night before. It lingered on his clothes and his hands, just the barest memory of a scent.
It was a very difficult thing to ignore as we talked and packed and loaded up my car.
72
After I signed my release paperwork with the Residential Advisor, we drove out to the Krispy Kreme on Highway 78 and ate doughnuts and drank milk and held hands under the table as we sat next to each other, side by side.
We stalled for as long as we could. We talked about his plans for the future, though we never touched on mine, for obvious reasons. We joked and teased each other and told stories. Overall we stayed away from anything serious.
But there was one thing I had to know.
“I have a question,” I said.
He smiled. “Uh oh, this sounds like you really have something to say.”
“I kind of do.”
“Alright. Shoot.”
“When you told Shanna that first time… that you…”
His green eyes stared into mine. “That I was in love with you.”
The words took my breath away, and his gaze was so intense that I had to avert my eyes.
“Yeah. That.” It took me a few more seconds to work up the courage to look at him. “Why’d you say it?”
“Because it was true.”
“But why’d you say it then? Most guys wouldn’t do that. What am I saying – nobody would do that.”
