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“Okay, fine,” he said, the warmth in his body starting to replace itself with something hotter. Anger or panic. “This was a preliminary trip. But I don’t want this to be over. I meant it when I said I missed you. Being with you here feels right. Like I never left.”
She shook her head, still not looking at him. “I can’t do this.”
Yes, the heat was definitely panic. “I know you’re angry. You have a right to be.”
“That’s not it,” she started, but he cut her off.
“You’re in Jackson, yes, but I’ll come out as often as I can.”
“What, twice a year?”
He took her hand. “We could do that for a little while. It could work. You like my family. You had a nice time today. I have friends here, and you could fit right in. You can’t tell me there isn’t still something you love about this city.”
“Gabe.” She shook her head.
“It’ll be a few years. That’s all. We can try it this way for a while, and you never know—maybe you’ll come back to the city for a little while. With a syndicated column, you could work anywhere. A few years, Veronica. Then one of my sisters will step up.”
“Do you honestly believe that will happen, Gabe?”
“It has to,” he answered.
“No,” she said, pulling her hand away. She climbed from the bed and pulled her shirt on, then her skirt. He just sat there, dumb with shock. One minute everything had been perfect, and now...
“I’m not doing this,” she said. “I can’t. And it’s not because I’m afraid to live in New York again or because you lied to me or because it will be long-distance.”
“Then why?” he pressed. “And don’t tell me it’s because you don’t feel it, too. There’s something special between us. In bed, yes, but out of it, too.”
“There is,” she agreed. “It’s special and good and it hurts, Gabe.” She swiped at a tear that escaped her eye. “Because I want it so much and I can’t have it.”
“You can.” He stood up and pulled on his pants, then reached toward her, trying to offer comfort, but she shook her head.
“No. I’ve spent my entire life pretending. Pretending I wasn’t shy and scared and lonely. I faked my way through high school and college. I faked my way through New York City. I’ve faked my way through Dear Veronica, too, and I’m not doing it anymore. Not ever again.”
He shook his head. “I’d never ask you to be someone you’re not.”
“No. Not me, Gabe. You. You want me to come here and live your fake life with you.”
His head drew back as if he were trying to escape a blow. “What?” A huff of breath escaped him on a laugh. “Me?”
“You’re always telling me to be myself,” she said, “but how can you say that? You’re planning a whole fake life for yourself, doing something you hate in a place you don’t want to be.”
“I don’t have a choice!”
“Fine, but I’m not going back, and I’m not going to watch you do that to yourself.”
“I’ll still be me, Veronica.”
“No, you won’t. Everything about you was different at the restaurant today, and that will hurt you the same way it hurt me. I won’t encourage it. I won’t be a part of it. Claire isn’t going to walk away from her life and run a burger place. She’s a vegan, Gabe! And Naomi? You think she’s going to run MacKenzie’s? She just told me tonight that she wants to buy a place in Paris!”
She wiped another tear from her cheek, but this time Gabe was too shocked to try to comfort her. His limbs felt numb. “What the hell am I supposed to do?” he asked. “Just watch my dad work until he dies?”
“I don’t know!” she cried. Then she took a deep breath and seemed to calm. “I have no idea, but I don’t think the answer is to give up everything you are because he’s stubborn. I’ve tried that kind of thing. It doesn’t work.”
He snatched up his shirt, the panic finally flowing into fury. “I don’t have any choice. Don’t you get that?”
“Okay,” she whispered. “But I do.”
Wow. She was really walking away from him. How could she not understand? “You don’t even like your dad and you can’t stand up to him. I’m doing this out of love, at least.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he hated himself for them, but she nodded.
