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His due. His place. The role he fit in this world of polite people and impolite realities.
Jude's stomach dropped with a sickening realization: He did not think himself equal to these people at all.
"I'm sure this will turn out well." Marissa looked up from her stitching to find Harry sitting next to her. She hadn't noticed that he'd sat down. "Pardon?"
"Jude will return soon with good news, I'm sure."
"Are you?" Marissa sighed. She wasn't sure at all. In fact, she was quite certain that if Jude returned at all, it would be with awful news. First that Mrs. Wellingsly wasn't the blackmailer. And second, that he'd discovered it quite nice to be around a beautiful woman who truly loved him. The more Marissa thought of it, the more sure it became. What man wouldn't want that? What man would prefer a childish girl who hurled insults and used him for selfish purposes?
Marissa blinked back tears. "Thank you, Harry."
"You just... if you don't mind my saying so, cousin, you look awful." She didn't bother pretending insult. Harry wasn't as close as a brother, but he was certainly as close as a ... cousin. He'd gone to school with her brothers,
so his bond was stronger with them, but during the summers she'd learned to swim and ride and cheat at cards right along with him.
"You shouldn't worry so," he continued. "We'll watch out for you."
"Thank you, Harry." She studied him for a moment, trying to think what he was like as a man and not just as her cousin. But he was inscrutable to her, a true gentleman of the ton, never interested in more than horses and... well, he had a slight interest in sheep farming, but no head for politics.
She had never thought too much about him. He'd always simply been a fixture in her life. But Jude had begun teaching her to look beyond the surface of things, not that she was learning that lesson too well.
"Can I ask you something, Harry?"
"Of course."
"Was it ever... lonely for you? Spending so much time in our household?"
Harry frowned and shook his head. "What do you mean?"
"Well, between school and the time you spent here ..."
"God, no. It was a relief. My mother is so dour, I can hardly bear the time I spend in her house even now. And I don't remember my father, I was so young when he died. Your father was far more than an uncle to me. An excellent man."
He had been an excellent man. Quiet, but not dour like his sister. He'd been a happy audience for the mischief his wife and children had got up to.
"I'm glad. You are such a good actor, I wondered if you were only pretending to be happy with us."
"Nonsense. Your family has been the only true family I've ever known."
Marissa looked back to her little pillow, the very pillow she'd teased Jude about two weeks before. The stitching was going quite nicely. If circumstances were different, she would have told Jude that and they would laugh together. She would have talked to him about her father, dead for seven years now. But she'd thrown Jude's friendship in his face this morning, as surely as if she'd slapped him.
"Thank you," she finally said.
Harry cleared his throat. "So, I believe Mrs. Samuel is trying to talk me into marrying one of the Miss Samuels."
That stopped Marissa's wandering mind. "She is? Which one?"
"I'm not sure she cares. She feels they've both been on the scene too long."
Well, Mrs. Samuel was a practical woman if nothing else. Beth had told her that her mother's only goal was to see both girls marry so that if she took ill again, they would be looked after. "And ... do you favor one?"
"I hadn't much thought about it. Miss Nanette Samuel seems quite a handful. Not sure she'd make an ideal wife."
Marissa didn't know whether to feel hopeful for Beth or insulted that Harry was approaching this so heartlessly. But, she supposed, this was how most marriages were made. "Beth is my dearest friend, you know. She's a wonderful person." "She is rather nice, isn't she? I suppose I shall consider it. She's modest and attractive, and I think we might match well."
She nodded, still torn by the strangeness of it all. "Don't you mean to find love, Harry?"
"I'm sure we'd come to love each other. I know our family typically approaches these things with a bit more fire, but I'm not quite as passionate in nature, I suppose."
