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Even I? What did he mean? “And you, Aidan? You’ve never married?”
“No.”
Alarmed by the thrill that sparked inside her, she made herself smile lightly. “Surely you’re sought after?”
“Yes.”
She waited for him to continue, but he said nothing more. Her throat strained. She wanted desperately to ask why he’d never married but wouldn’t let the words pass her lips. It was none of her business.
“As for your family—” he started.
Kate drew in a sharp breath and stepped back. “What do you mean? You promised not to tell them—”
“No. I said nothing. But I believe your mother is well. And I see your brother on rare occasion in London. You do not wish to see them at all?”
She didn’t close her eyes, though her lids fluttered down for a moment. Her injuries were old and long since healed. “No,” she whispered. “My brother and I were never close.” Even if she had a desire to see her family, she couldn’t. Her masquerade would be finished, of course. But more than that, if Gerard had spread his lies about her, they’d surely have heard.
Aidan drew near and put a hand to her elbow. “Are you all right?”
“Yes. Thank you for bringing my grandfather’s watch.”
“I wanted to return it to you. And I wanted to see you again,” he said. His soft words seemed to echo in the room, but the tender stroke of his voice must be her imagination.
“I’m truly grateful.” She turned from him as she carefully voiced the dismissal. It was not subtle. He could not mistake it. She cringed when he made no reply. “It was kind of you to bring it to me.”
“Kind.”
Kate nodded and listened to the censorious silence that fell once more. From the corner of her eye, she could see his intent gaze.
An endless moment passed before he sighed and shifted. “I’d hoped we could be friends.”
Staring desperately at the wall, she pressed her lips tight together.
“You were my best friend once, Kate.”
Her lungs strained to draw breath through her rigid throat, her muscles shivered with suppressed emotion. She’d told herself she wanted only solitude, but his words exposed the lie. If he’d asked to be her lover, she could’ve sent him away with conviction. To be friends, though, as they’d once been . . . The idea set off a fierce yearning inside her.
Tears overflowed her burning eyes. She raised a trembling hand to her mouth just as his arms came around her. She smelled snow and salt water in the wool of his coat. Aidan York was holding her.
“There’s too much between us,” she whispered through her tears.
“Nonsense. There’s no reason in the world we can’t be friends.”
“There’s too much between us,” she repeated frantically.
“The past is the past, Kate. We’re both different people now.” His hand smoothed over her hair, soothing her frenzied nerves. “I’m not willing to lose you again. I’ve not had a true friend since the day you left England.”
He couldn’t know what that meant to her, to hear that no person had ever replaced her in his life, just as no one had ever taken his place in hers. He needed her, and, oh God, it seemed she needed him too. But could she believe him? She’d once believed every word he’d said, but her father and time and distance had ruined that for her.
But those old doubts could not expand when his arms were around her.
“I’m married,” she breathed in one last attempt to push him away.
“I know.”
This was a terrible idea. Sending him away had been the right thing to do, but she didn’t think she had the strength to do it again. Kate breathed in the scent of him, of his clothes and his soap and his skin, and felt the blank terror of jumping from an unknown height. She deserved this small thing, didn’t she?
Taking a deep breath, she braved the leap. “I was planning a long walk along the Humber tomorrow. The shop is closed on Sundays.”
