AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Fuck you!” Harris pulled the trigger on the AK-47. Nothing happened.
“Safety,” Petra said.
The snake batted the gun from Harris’s hands. He backed away, but the molting showgirl of a snake wasn’t having it. It lurched forward and, in one giant-size bite, gulped down the screaming Harris Buffington Ewell Davis III. Then, as the girls watched, it slithered calmly back toward the jungle, leaving them alone.
Tiara gave a small wave of farewell. “You know what? Dumb is better than dead.”
Adina ran serpentine-style through the jungle as Taylor had instructed. But somewhere she’d taken a wrong turn and come out on the beach. She saw the pirate ship in the lagoon and ran for it. It appeared to be empty. She turned to leave and ran headlong into Duff. She screamed and Duff jumped back.
“What the hell are you doing here?” she yelled.
“Thank God you’re okay!” he said.
“Okay? Okay? I’m being shot at and, like, a billion people are trying to kill me and there’s explosives and despite all of that, I am still really, really, really pissed off at you, you ass**le.”
Duff smiled. “Nice to see you, too.”
“Whatever. We have to get to the compound.”
“Lead the way,” Duff said.
“Not so fast, hound dogs.” MoMo B. ChaCha’s platform shoes clunked across the ship’s deck. He moved like an injured cat, but one that could still claw and bite. He raised his gun. “You are responsible for this.” In his other hand, he held the remains of General Good Times.
“We’re responsible for your unfortunate experiments in taxidermy?” Adina asked.
“Don’t be insolent, beauty queen!” The Peacock raised his arm to strike. Duff stopped him.
“I don’t think so, mate.”
“Wait … You are familiar to The Peacock. Did I kill your family?”
“No.”
“Huh. Disappointing.”
“I’m Duff McAvoy of The Corporation’s wildly popular cable show, Captains Bodacious IV: Badder and More Bodaciouser.”
MoMo let fly a small squeal of excitement and clapped his hands. “Of course!” MoMo embraced Duff, kissing him on both cheeks. “I am number-one fan of your show.”
“That’s great!” Duff laughed in relief. “That’s … that’s brilliant.”
Adina forced a laugh.
MoMo tapped the gun against his forehead. “You are … don’t tell me … Casanova of the Sea?”
“That’s me.”
MoMo raised an eyebrow at Adina. “And you are his latest conquest, yes?”
Adina cut her eye at Duff.
“Yeah, we were just about to film a bit for the show, so, you know, nice to meet you. No need to stick around. It’s dead boring, filming,” Duff said, trying to edge away.
“No, no, no. We must make the moment. MoMo will help. With the gun, I will force you both to walk the plank. You will die together. This will be romantical, yes?”
“No!” they yelled.
“Ah, but you are young. Plenty of time to realize these special moments. Then again, considering you are about to die, maybe not. This will be the best show ever!”
