Page 317 of Going Bovine


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“Some guy you saw on the Internet once.”

“That’s not true. Those United Snow Globe employees—”

The Wizard of Reckoning’s hand comes down hard, rattling the snow globes. “Do. Not. Exist. Just a figment of your spongiform mind. They’re stand-ins—the coyote on your ass.”

“No.” I look around the room frantically.

“Oh, Cameron. Don’t tell me you still don’t get it.” He knocks on my head. “Hello? Is any of this getting through?”

“Ow. Quit it.”

“Sorry. My bad.” He sighs and picks some lint off his shiny pants, and I make a vow that if I live through this, I will never wear pants like that. “Cameron. What do you think this whole trip has been about, man? Searching for a cure? Saving the universe? Dude. Please. It’s about this.”

He throws a crumpled piece of paper at my feet. I pick it up and smooth it out. It’s Junior’s message that I stuck on the Wishing Tree back in Hope with Dulcie.

“Read it out loud, man.”

“I wish to live.”

“There you go.” He smiles.

“But … Dr. X was supposed to give me the cure. …”

“There is no cure for this life.” The wizard takes a seat on the folding chair for a minute. He stretches his long legs out in front of him, removes the sword from its scabbard, and polishes it with the edge of his shirt. “You live it to the best of your ability.”

“This is bullshit! I was supposed to get my wish!” I can’t help it. I’m crying.

The Wizard of Reckoning keeps polishing. “Sort of.”

“Huh?”

He makes a sound in his throat, a cross between a grunt and a sigh. He’s tiring of me. “So. Right. To review,” he says, putting the weapon down and lacing his fingers together, resting them on the back of his head. My head. His head. Shit, I don’t know anymore. “Did you live these past two weeks?”

“I live every week!” I argue.

“No. You exist. The question is, did you live?”

For a second, I stop fighting and think about what he’s asking me. Did I live? I made a best friend. Lost another. Cried. Laughed. Lost my virginity. Gained a piece of magic, gave it away. Possibly changed a man’s destiny. Drank beer. Slept in cheap motels. Got pissed off. Laughed some more. Escaped from the police and bounty hunters. Watched the sun set over the ocean. Had a soda with my sister. Saw my mom and dad as they are. Understood music. Had sex again, and it was pretty mind-blowing. Not that I’m keeping score. Okay, I’m keeping score. Played the bass. Went to a concert. Wandered around New Orleans. Freed the snow globes. Saved the universe.

“Well?” the wizard asks.

Dulcie, my mind answers.

“So you’re saying none of this is real?” I ask.

He checks his reflection in the cool steel of his blade. “I’m not saying that at all. Reality is what you make of it.”

Dulcie.

“Then I make it that,” I say, pointing to Dulcie.

“That?” The wizard flicks his finger at Dulcie’s glass prison and I want to punch him. “That’s a snow globe, Cameron.”

“No,” I say, swiping at the tears. “I don’t believe that. I won’t. She’s real.”

He holds out his hand. “Join me, Cameron.”

I start to laugh. The Wizard of Reckoning tries to smirk, but I can tell he’s confused.

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