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Check. Check. Check. Check.
Everything else magical I could call in with a thought—like my father’s weapons—which meant my packing was done. I closed my duffle with a zip and sat for a second on the bed. I started to give myself one minute to wallow in my own misery but was interrupted by a soft double knock on the door.
Van peeked in, took one look at me, and stepped inside, shutting the door behind him with a click.
He closed the distance between us in three quick strides. “You’re having second thoughts?” He placed his
hands on my knees as he squatted in front of me.
I glanced down at him, hoping to use some of his constant, steady strength to silence all the doubts in my mind, but it didn’t work. Not like it usually did. “When am I ever not having second thoughts?”
“This is the smart move.”
I gave his hands a squeeze. “But is it the right one?” I wanted to say that something about how wrong this felt, but it was more than that. Everything about finding a husband like this was going to feel terrible.
He stood and stepped back from me. “Coco—”
“Oh, stop. You only call me that when you think I need babying.” I didn’t need babying. Not now. I didn’t know what I needed, but it wasn’t that.
He crossed his arms as he glanced down at me. The look on his face was enough to tell me that he didn’t agree. “So you’re fine then?”
I couldn’t say that without lying—we both knew it—so I needed to change the subject. “The guards you picked are ready?”
“Yeeeeeesss.” He drew the word out for a while, as if deciding whether or not he was going to accept my change of subject. “Want me to tell you who’s coming with us?”
At least we’d dropped the whole am-I-okay thing, but I didn’t love this subject either. “Not particularly. I’d rather bring none, but since you won’t reconsider it?”
“Not on your life.”
“Then save your words. I’ll find out soon enough.” I stood and grabbed my bag.
“No. I’ll go get them. When you hear us come into your living room, make them wait before coming out.”
I laughed as I sat on the bed again. “Always making me out to play the princess.”
“Because you are one, even if you like to pretend you’re not. It always does them good to remember who and what you are. It’s been a long time since you really showed yourself at court. A long time since you’ve needed the guards.”
And now we were on another topic we didn’t agree on. “Who cares if having twelve on hand is what’s expected of a princess. I told you to let them go when I moved to Colorado.”
Van crossed his arms as he glared at me. “And I told you we might need them again.”
I stopped just short of rolling my eyes at him. I didn’t need the guards. Not even a little bit. “If some stupid assassin kills me, then that means I was lazy and I deserve to die.”
“Don’t say that again.” His words were deep, cold, stabbing, and they made me feel like the worst kind of person.
I took a moment to breathe, letting my frustrations go. I hadn’t meant to upset him. “I apologize. I—”
He vanished from one second to the next, without letting me finish my apology.
“Damn it.” There was no point in pissing off Van. He was sometimes my best friend, sometimes my stand-in father, and all-the-time a pain in my ass, but I loved him. I was taking out my own situation on him, and he didn’t deserve that. Not even a little bit.
My attitude needed an adjustment.
I unzipped my bag, pulled out one of my small daggers, and went to my dresser. There was one more thing I needed to take with me.
The entry door to my suite slammed, and I knew that Van and the guards were in my living room now, but I had plenty of time since Van wanted me to make them wait.
In the top molding of the dresser was a hidden drawer. Very, very gently, I stuck the tip of the blade in and wiggled. After a second, the drawer opened just enough for me to stick my finger in and tug. Most fey would hide things with magic. They were arrogant and their arrogance made them stupid. They tested for hidden pockets of magic, and when nothing turned up, they left. No one thought to actually take the time to search a room. Hiding something physically from sight was much more effective than hiding it magically.
