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I looked down at the label on the very nice cognac I’d just poured myself. “Uh.”
“Do you have any idea what they’re going to charge me for that?”
“You should get them to comp you, along with the room. If I was the bad guy, I could have had you in a dozen pieces by now.”
Radu’s narrowed gaze turned on the lead guard, who failed to notice because he was staring at Ray, who had started smoking again. I guess that was fair because it wasn’t like he could drink anything. But it didn’t get any less appalling.
“Must you do that?” Radu demanded. Predictably, Ray flipped him off. Radu looked at me. “Dorina!”
“What do you want me to do? Spank him?”
“That sounds like an excellent idea,” Radu declared. The guard and I both looked at him blankly. “I believe I shall have a talk with management.”
The guard looked bewildered, having made the mistake of trying to follow Radu’s thought processes. “Are you all right, sir?”
“Of course I’m all right, no thanks to you,” Radu told him severely.
“We would have been here sooner, but there was a disturbance in the—”
“But there shouldn’t be any disturbances, not at these prices. I was assured that this was a quiet and peaceful retreat. Yes, here it is.” He picked up a flyer off the nightstand. “ ‘Quiet and peaceful haven in the heart of one of the world’s most cosmopolitan cities.’ Cosmopolitan!” he snorted. “Why, I suppose that’s true. The caviar is American, the vodka is British and I strongly suspect the plumbing of being Russian!”
“You don’t need plumbing,” I reminded him.
“I do bathe, Dory!” he snapped. “And then there’s Gunther.”
“And Gunther would be your—”
“Bodyguard.”
“Is that what they’re calling it these days?”
“We’re all required to have them now, since the war. Anyone senior, that is.”
“Making a virtue out of a necessity?”
“Virtue?” He examined the embroidery on his cuff. “Well, that would be a novelty.”
The guard had been looking back and forth between us, and finally decided he’d had enough. “Sir, I—”
“And for what I am paying, I should have a guard permanently assigned to my room!” Radu said, rounding on him. He swept an elegant hand, indicating the cream-and-ice-blue drapes, the matching Aubusson carpet and the large sitting area with the antique marble fireplace. “Not that there’s space in this closet.”
Several of the guards started looking at their leader with apprehension. I didn’t think there’d be too many volunteers. “Sir, I will inform the management of your, uh, concerns,” the leader said, backing slowly toward the door.
“See that you do! I naturally expect some inconveniences when away from home, but they seem to believe we should all live like savages!”
The door shut on Radu’s final word, and he slumped back against the pillows, fanning himself with the flyer. I tilted the bottle at him, and he nodded gratefully. “You had better hope that works, Dory, or I may be staying with you,” he said as I handed him his drink.
“I wouldn’t worry about it, ’Du. You’re a Basarab. They’re probably going to name the room after you.”
“Not if I keep getting visits like this. Did you do a great deal of damage?”
“I didn’t do any. The guys chasing me, however…”
“Yes, well. Let us hope they’re blamed instead. Although that would be more likely if you weren’t here when management stops by.”
“Are you trying to get rid of me, ’Du?” I asked thoughtfully.
“Yes! Yes, I am! It’s nothing personal, Dory, but your condition—”
