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I nodded a little and had to stare out the window again. I believed him, really heard the conviction in his voice, and it broke my heart. He was a good man, deep down, I had to believe that—otherwise he wouldn’t have cared so much about trafficked women. He knew what it meant to suffer, and he went through some horrible things as a child, but maybe he was simply broken, and no matter what happened, nothing would put him back together.
I couldn’t do it. I knew that, knew it with all of me. I couldn’t fix this man, even if I wanted to desperately, and if I was going to follow through with my decision to marry him then I had to accept what he was.
I had to accept that he was flawed and deeply conflicted about the world, but wouldn’t change, because he loved his family too much.
It hurt, but I understood it at some level. I loved my father that way, and I wasn’t sure if I would’ve been able to give him up if I’d known the truth about him before.
“Look there,” Ewan said, leaning forward. I followed his gaze and watched two guys leave the house. I didn’t recognize either of them, but Ewan seemed to know who they were.
“Where’s Ronan?” I asked.
“Don’t know,” Ewan said. “Might’ve left already. My guess is, that’s a safehouse. Probably more than a few Healy guys in there right now.”
“What do we do?” I asked.
“We go get some answers,” he said, and opened his door.
I followed him out onto the sidewalk. Rush hour was over and the streets were quiet. We stayed far back from the guys, the pair of them laughing, talking to each other. One was short and thin, head shaved bald, skin deeply tanned, wearing a jean jacket and baggy pants. The other was a head taller, but big and round, wore all black, and rolled more than walked.
Ewan seemed at ease but I felt like I might throw up at any moment. We were close enough that they could look back and spot us.
“Who are they?” I hissed, moving closer to him.
He slipped his hand into mine. I almost recoiled, but he held it tight and kept me pulled close, like a lover walking with his girl. “The smaller one’s named Hyde,” he said. “Low-level dealer. The other one’s his partner, Franz. I met those motherfuckers at a party years ago, back before they were connected to the Healy family.”
“You’re sure they’re Healy?” I asked.
“Positive. Otherwise, they wouldn’t come out of a Healy safehouse, but I heard they’d joined up. Hyde goes where the money’s best and Franz follows. They’re like a fucking team.” He grinned a little and seemed like he was in a good mood, like he was out for a sporting hunt or a fun game.
I let him pull me along, still holding his hand. For a few blocks, I tried to force myself to pretend like we were a normal couple out for a stroll on our way to get breakfast. I’d drink coffee and laugh as he tried to eat a double stack of pancakes, and when he failed, I’d finish off what was left over. Then after breakfast we’d sit in the park and listen to the buskers play and sing, and for a little while, we could feel good.
I didn’t know if that would ever happen. Ewan’s life was a truck with its brakes cut, rolling wildly through the city, liable to smash into something and kill everyone nearby. I didn’t know if I wanted something normal with him, not when his hands were so drenched in blood.
But I kept thinking about it, which must’ve meant something.
“Up ahead,” Ewan said suddenly. “There’s a school. It’ll be empty right now.”
“What’s the school have to do with anything?” I asked.
“Come on.” He walked faster and I hurried to catch up. I wanted to ask questions but he looked determined. I saw the school ahead, down the block, surrounded by high chain-link fencing. It was an industrial building made from red brick with a mural of two children reading on the side.
As we got close, Ewan released my hand. I wished he’d keep holding it, but I knew what that meant. I fell back a little bit and watched as he got within a few feet of Hyde before he spoke up.
“I was wondering where you two were going,” Ewan said in a friendly tone.
Hyde looked back first. His face was screwed up in confusion, and when he saw Ewan, his eyes went wide with shock. He grabbed Franz’s arm and tugged the big man closer, and when Franz turned around, he cursed.
“Ewan, what the—” Hyde started, but didn’t have time to finish.
Ewan moved fast and jammed his fist into Hyde’s teeth. The small man gasped in shock and covered his mouth. Blood spurted from his broken lips. Ewan turned to Franz as the big man tried to grab something from his waistband but struggled. Ewan grinned and jammed his elbow into Franz’s throat then punched him hard enough in the gut to double him over. Ewan reached around Franz’s back then pulled a gun from his waistband.
