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I look toward the exit again and exhale, feeling every cell in my body vibrating with the need to understand what’s going on. To fix it, whatever it is. “I’ll go to her dressing room now, and ask her—"
“No, no, not now.” Kendrick sighs from the depths of his soul. “I wish I had a recording of me saying that to you, so I could press a button and save my vocal cords.”
“I can’t sit here and play it cool, KC. Laila is in her dressing room with Colin, feeling far more pissed off at me for what I did than is logical. God only knows what that crazy woman is thinking—what she’d do to torture me, if she thinks I’ve got it coming. For all I know, she’s blowing Colin in there, as we speak!”
Kendrick rolls his eyes. “Would you stop being a jealous lunatic for a minute and listen to me? I swear, when it comes to Laila, you’re a madman.”
“Yes, I am,” I admit. “That goddamned woman turns me into a madman. But even so, I’m not crazy this time. I can feel in my bones Colin wants her. He didn’t suggest they eat lunch in Laila’s dressing room, alone, to talk about Laila’s contestants. He asked her in there so he could finally make his move.”
“Oh, for the love of fuck. Even if you’re right about that, don’t you trust Laila? She wants you, man. Not him. You.”
I run my hand through my hair. “But does she, though? Right now, I feel the same way I did when Laila didn’t come to my room during the tour! I thought she wanted me then, too, Kendrick. I would have bet any amount of money. But she never came to me and ignored me and blocked my number, and to this day, I can’t understand why! And now, here I am wondering why she’s spinning out of control, simply because I invited Charlie to our house—”
“To prove she’s a liar.”
“To help her get into character!”
“Okay, calm down.” Kendrick sighs. “I’m sure she’ll explain herself tonight. But for now, let’s get some lunch and let the girl do her job, okay? She and Colin are up first after lunch, so they really do have work to do before then. Let’s let them do it.”
I place my elbows on the table and my head in my hands. “I swear, that woman has taken years off my life.”
Kendrick pats my back. “At some point, you’ve got to decide to trust her, Savage. That’s what this all boils down to—you finally deciding to trust a woman, completely. To let your guard down with Laila, once and for all, and trust.”
Emotion surges inside of me. “How can I trust Laila when she didn’t come to my room, when I was so sure she would? How can I trust a woman who wanted to be with Malik fucking Wallace after he so clearly showed her and everyone at that restaurant what a flaming asshole he is? How, how, how, Kendrick?”
“And how can Laila trust you when she thinks you’re the guy who fucked that waitress and all those groupies? You weren’t her boyfriend at the time, true, but she thinks she knows how you roll, man.”
“She has to know I was full of shit about all that stuff by now!”
“But does she, though? Have you come clean to her about everything yet?”
I rub my forehead. “No. Once I get started talking, it’s gonna be a lot. I want to be sure I’m all-in before I head down that road.”
“Well, then, if you ask me, you can’t be too surprised when she doesn’t trust you any more than you trust her. My advice? You two need to sit down and talk this out, from top to bottom. Just talk to her and tell her everything.”
I throw up my hands. “You specifically told me not to tell her a goddamned thing until I was positive of my feelings for her, or else you’d beat me up.”
“That’s still true.” He smiles sympathetically. “But it seems to me you’re pretty fucking sure about your feelings at this point, man.”
I process that for a beat, and then lean back in my seat, feeling overwhelmed. “Kendrick, I’d crawl over a hundred miles of broken glass for that woman. I’d do anything for her. Literally anything. And yet, clearly, no matter what I do, she doesn’t trust me as far as she can throw me. And I don’t understand why.”
Twenty
Laila
I take a seat next to Colin on the couch in my dressing room and begin opening my box lunch. “Thanks so much for meeting with me about my team,” I say excitedly. “I can’t wait to hear your thoughts about—”
“I didn’t ask you here to talk about your team,” Colin interrupts. “Sorry. I only said that to get you away from Savage.”
