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And now, I found myself in a predicament.
Did I tell her how much the shorts made my dick hard?
When I opened my mouth to tell her everything that I felt when it came to her, she leaned forward quickly on the couch and started to read.
“What is Moby Dick’s father’s name?” she asked, eyes on me but alight with humor.
I wasn’t sure that I liked that gleam in her eyes.
“Umm.” I paused. “I don’t know. What?”
Her lips twitched. “Papa boner.”
I closed my eyes to will the laughter bubbling up in my throat to subside.
It did, but only barely.
It came rearing right back when I looked at her face and saw her smiling huge.
“What else you got?” I asked.
She narrowed her eyes at me, then said, “Two nuns are out cycling. One says, ‘I’ve never come this way before.’ The other one says, ‘It must be the cobblestones.’”
My jaw physically hurt from smiling.
“How does a bald man run his fingers through his hair?” she questioned.
I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer. “I don’t know, how?”
“He cuts holes in his pockets.”
I licked my lips.
“Why is Santa’s sack so heavy?” she leaned forward, causing her shorts to ride up.
My eyes went to her legs, and I kind of sort of forgot to hold on to my composure.
“Why?” I croaked.
“Because he only comes once a year.”
That did it.
I burst out laughing.
And immediately regretted it.
Seeing that smile on her face, though? That made it all worth it.
Upon seeing the pain on my face, the smile immediately died from hers.
“We should get you another pain pill and in bed,” she said as she stood up.
She started to gather our trash and take it to the kitchen.
I went to follow her, but the moment that my body moved from its spot, I realized rather quickly that the pain meds that’d been keeping me comfortable had definitely worn off.
Now there was a dull, throbbing, tearing sensation that was slowly killing me.
It was truly awful, and the nausea that I’d only thought was gone was back.
“Sit still, man.” She placed her hand on my head. “I’ll get it.”
I didn’t want her to get it.
But when I tried to drop my legs from the couch, I learned rather quickly that I was fooling myself.
“Here,” she said when she came back the second time. “This is the pain med and the antibiotic. They recommend that you take the pain meds every four hours.”
“Yeah,” I groaned as I held out my hand. “I’ll be making sure to do that. Even if I have to set a fuckin’ alarm. I’m getting too old for this shit.”
She snorted. “You’re thirty-five, Croft. That’s not old.”
“Thirty-six as of…” I looked at my watch. “Two hours ago.”
Her breath left her. “It’s your birthday?”
I nodded once and tossed the pills into my mouth.
She held out a bottle of water with the top already twisted off.
I swallowed the horse pills and sighed.
“Yep,” I said. “Way to celebrate the next year, huh?”
“Your parents and family are out of town on your birthday?” she asked, sounding horrified.
“Kind of hard for them to be here when I bought them the tickets that would allow them to go on a mini-cruise vacation. They are leaving out of Galveston, and I’d heard that it was not a bad drive down there. They are taking Raleigh, Ezra and the baby so it wasn’t like it was a hardship for them to go.”
“But it’s your birthday,” she countered. “That’s no fun for you.”
I looked over at her then. “I’m thirty-six. It’s not like it’s my sixteenth birthday or anything. This wasn’t an ‘oh wow,’ birthday. Just a ‘meh.’”
She rolled her eyes and finished picking up our trash.
Once she was done, she planted herself on the coffee table and looked at me. “Do you want to try to get up to your bed?”
“No,” I admitted, then gritted my teeth and dropped my feet to the floor.
The pain exploded through me, and I had to breathe through it in order not to pass out.
Damn, I was such a pussy.
Getting up, I put one foot in front of the other, getting to the stairs by sheer force of will.
By the time I made it to my bedroom, I was winded, there was a thick sheen of sweat on me as if I’d just busted out five hundred double unders, and my bed looked so inviting that I wanted to crash face-first into it.
“You gonna make it?” she asked, looking at me worriedly.
I swallowed past the bile and nodded, making my way to the bathroom where I relieved myself, brushed my teeth, and headed for bed.
She had already turned down my comforter for me like a damn maid.
Little did she know that I slept on top of the damn thing because I was a lazy motherfucker.
“What’s that look for?” she asked curiously, her eyes on me.
