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“Well that he does, as most men do. But it also sounds to me like your ex had a much deeper issue than Jude could possibly have. I believe, and you make take it for what it’s worth, that your Mr. Jackson will one day become an abuser, if not physically then emotionally. I imagine while you were together, he helped you to feel very small about the choices you made for your life.”
Vojalie had said it exactly right. “As though his were important and mine weren’t.”
“You were wiser than you knew when you parted company with him.”
To a degree, Hannah already knew that Vojalie was right. But hearing her suspicions supported out loud helped a lot.
Vojalie asked, “So, how does Jude feel about what’s happened?”
“Actually, I’m not sure which of us is more distressed.”
Vojalie frowned slightly. “I believe he must be thinking about his wife and daughter. You know about them, right? The lovely Naomi and their daughter, Joy?”
Hannah nodded.
Vojalie’s silver eyes appeared haunted as she looked into the past. “We were all devastated when we heard the news. Did you know they’d been killed in the small, peach orchard on Jude’s property? On Castle Island?”
“Yes, but that’s all I really know and I never probed for details.”
“No, of course not.” Vojalie gave herself a shake. “Now, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable, but there are a few things I must know. You’ve made love with Jude, right?”
Maybe it was the enthrallment, but Hannah didn’t feel embarrassed, not even a little, as she nodded. The memories came sliding back quickly about what they’d done in the bunkroom. Her cheeks grew warm because she only had to think about Jude and her whole body heated up.
Vojalie laughed, a bright sound like bells chiming. “You don’t need to say anything more. I can feel your experience. It glows from your entire being.”
She didn’t know about ‘glow’, but she definitely felt all fired up again.
“Hannah, this probably won’t help at all, but you are the woman I would wish for Jude, warm and loving, very unselfish. But my opinions aside, what do you need from me?”
Hannah spoke from her heart. “Can this thing be undone? Do I have to be a blood rose?”
“I’m afraid that die is cast. Your issue now will be all about the mastyr with whom you bond.”
Hannah sorted this through in her mind. “But if I don’t bond with Jude or anyone else, I can keep my life as it is.”
“Theoretically, but as you must already know, the blood rose drive is very powerful.”
“Tell me about it.”
Vojalie chuckled softly. “But let me ask you, when you’ve reflected on your life, and to me you seem like the kind of woman who would do that often, did anything in particular surface repeatedly as a desired hope or dream?”
Hannah thought back to the journaling she’d done over the years, even a few of the altered books she’d made pasting in all kinds of things into several old books. “I guess if there had to be a recurring theme it would be a desire to make a difference.”
“And would being a blood rose make the kind of difference you envision?”
“In Jude’s world, maybe. But I meant Port Townsend, my world, the human world. Not Kellcasse.”
“But your world, the one you live in and delight in is at least half-realm. Just because the borders haven’t changed, that doesn’t mean Jude, his Guardsmen and many other realm-folk crossing the access point to Port Townsend haven’t already altered the dynamic in your world.”
“I suppose you could look at it that way. I just don’t want this. The worst part is I’m told that other mastyrs will come after me if I don’t bond with Jude, and I know that they’re not all as wonderful as he is.”
“My dear, can you hear what you just said?”
“You mean the ‘wonderful’ part.”
“Yes, that bit.”
“But why wouldn’t I feel that way about Jude? I’ve known him all my life, and I trust and respect him. He’s like family to me.”
