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She smiled. “Both sound great.”
Her wounds had healed and she knew in time she’d come to forgive herself for the accidental death. She wasn’t sorry Ben was gone, only that she wished he’d lived to be put on trial and his acts exposed for the treasonous murders they were.
~ ~ ~
Sitting on the deck, Ian held his third bottle of beer in his hands. He clinked his thumb ring against the glass, the sound oddly soothing. He’d wanted to shut off his vampire hearing because he’d heard Regan weeping. But he’d forced himself to listen and to acknowledge her suffering. In that way, he could honor the sacrifices she’d made tonight.
She appeared in the doorway, then moved toward him. “Hey, I can feel you thinking all the way in the bedroom.” Her light brown hair was damp and hanging down her back. She wore a soft-looking blue sweater, blue jeans and no shoes.
Love for her rushed through his body, which caused a vibration to pass through their joined mating frequencies.
She put a hand to her chest. “That feels so strange. Wonderful, but strange.”
He rose to his feet swiftly, then set the bottle on the table by his chair. “How you doin’?”
“Better. I think I’m in shock.” Tears touched her eyes again.
He forced himself to take a deep breath. He ached inside his chest as though hands had grabbed his heart and squeezed. Hard. “Regan, I’m so sorry. Words … hell, I don’t know what to say. I misjudged everything.”
“I didn’t see it, either,” she said, her eyes now swimming with tears. “I would never have believed anything so bad of one of your Guardsmen and especially not Ben. I mean, I’ve never been completely easy around him and at times could feel something was off with him, but never this.”
He took a step toward her. “I was so wrong.” He put a hand to his chest, his own eyes burning. “Sweet Goddess, he was my best friend.”
“Oh, Ian.” Tears flowed down her cheeks as she moved quickly toward him.
He opened his arms and she fell against him, sobbing once more. I can’t stop crying. I think this is going to hurt for a very long time.
I think you’re right.
She slid her arms around his waist, holding him tight. “All tho
se people. Your sister, too. It was the worst night of my life at Raven’s Overlook.”
“Mine, too. I lost so much. I lost you, my nieces, my sister and her good, decent husband, even Ben’s older brother, and all because …” He couldn’t say it. The reality was too raw, too painful.
She squeezed him tight. “Don’t think about it right now.”
“Hard to think about anything else.” He rubbed her back, loving the feel of her against him, remembering what it had been like after the massacre to sleep in an empty bed. He’d felt hollowed out for years afterward. Now here she was, in his arms.
And they’d bonded.
“Regan.” He had to ask. “I know the battle forced the bond between us and now I don’t know what to say. I know how I feel about it, but—”
She drew back and caught his face with both hands. “How do you feel, Ian? I need to know.”
His chest shuddered. “Regan, I love you. I’ve always loved you. Every woman I ever met had to live up to you and they couldn’t. It’s always been you.”
She searched his eyes. “You’re afraid, though. I can feel it. But of what?”
“That you won’t be able to forgive me, even though we now share the blood rose bond. I treated you badly. I thought the worst things about you and let you know it. I don’t deserve to be this close to you, ever.”
For reasons he didn’t understand, she smiled and more tears brimmed in her eyes. “Ian, all is forgiven. You have to believe me. Since we’ve been together these last couple of nights, and maybe even before when I helped Zane and Olivia defeat Margetta in Swanicott, I’ve gotten a better glimpse at what the ruling mastyrs have had to endure. That’s one reason I can let it all go now. You gave me up to save Camberlaune and I know what it cost you. I also know that if you hadn’t built a wall of blame between us, we would have come back together one day and Ben wouldn’t have hesitated to act against us.”
Ian nodded slowly. “You’re right. He couldn’t allow someone so powerful into Camberlaune. And eventually, given your fae insight, you would have seen him for what he was.”
She drew a deep breath. “But I have to know, are you regretting the blood rose bond?”
“No. Sweet Goddess, no! Don’t think it for a second. It’s everything I’ve wanted but felt I could never have.”
