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“We’re connected.”
He lifted up and glanced down the length of her body and smiled. “I know. We’re joined.”
“That’s not what I meant. The vibrations. They did something to us. The ones we shared. Can’t you feel it?”
He drew his brows together in a tight line. “Holy shit.” He met her gaze. “Charlotte, what the fuck is this?” Slowly, he eased out of her, but he looked really upset.
“What do you mean?”
Leaning back on his knees he stared at her. “What are you that you could do this to me? We’re bound and it could damn well be permanent. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear you’d seduced me.”
She shook her head, horrified. “No. Never. But could you at least tell me what this is?” Though she felt panicky at the same time, the vibration that connected her to Willem felt amazing.
“It’s a sexual bonding, the kind that only occurs when a man and woman, both realm¸ have agreed to join like this.”
She worked once more at getting calm. “Okay, we’ll have to figure this out. Clearly, this happened by accident but why are you so angry?”
“Because I didn’t ask for this and it’s not right. This should never have happened. I would never have agreed to bind myself to you if asked.”
Now she was getting a little pissed. “Dammit, Willem, this isn’t my fault. You’re realm and I’m not. You’re the one who should have headed this off. I told you I was feeling a vibration and you felt it yourself. In fact, you really liked it.”
“Just because I liked it—” He broke off, closing his eyes and taking a couple of deep breaths. “Sorry, Charlotte, I’m not handling this very well.”
“Neither am I.”
He turned away, slid off the bed and headed to the bathroom. He soon came back and handed her a washcloth that she tucked between her legs.
But he didn’t return to lie beside her. Instead, he sat on the side of the bed with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.
In any other circumstance, she would have been offended but the same bond that now caused them both so much distress, also helped her to feel what he was feeling. Mostly, she felt a strange layer of shame beneath a layer of anger.
And her every instinct told her that what happened in the next few minutes would determine her entire future.
***
Chapter Four
Pain moved within Willem’s heart like a wild animal trapped and trying to get out.
The shame he felt went so deep he could hardly bear it and all that shame poured over Charlotte now because he’d bonded with her. She was right. He was a man of Grochaire Realm and she was just a human. Of the two, he should have known better, should have figured out that the unbelievable sensation of his mating vibration moving over hers had meant he’d been close to bonding with her. Yet somehow, he’d been so caught up in the experience he hadn’t truly understood what had been happening.
He remained sitting on the edge of the bed, his thumbs pressed into his forehead as though trying to push the thoughts out of his mind. He’d never wanted to be this close to anyone. After what had happened to him, he’d long since accepted that he’d never be truly worthy of love in any form.
The only person in the Nine Realms who knew what he’d endured was Davido the Wise, a troll of ancient lineage and unknown age who had counseled him for two years a few decades ago. Willem had gone to him because at the time, nightmares had swamped him, threatening his sanity.
Davido had been able to relieve him of that burden but he hadn’t been able to cure Willem of the ever-present shame, the very thing that had kept him from long-term relationships all this time. He’d never been able to connect well with the good women who’d moved in and out of his life through the decades. He didn’t blame them; this dysfunction was solely on his head.
His suffering was also the source of his obsession with serial perpetrators. He wanted to find the man who had kidnapped, raped and tortured him, leaving him feeling worthless for most of his life.
He sat up a little, sliding his fingers over the band of leather on his wrist, turning it slightly. And for a moment fell into the memories of what he’d endured. He could even hear his own screams, smell his burning flesh.
Charlotte’s soft hand on his shoulder whipped him away from the terrible images, reminding him of the unwanted bond. He just didn’t know what to do. But somehow he had to find a way to sever the connection to her. She deserved so much better.
“I know you’re troubled, Willem, but I think we need help.”
He finally turned to meet her gaze. “What?”
“Willem, I know you’re hurting. I can feel it, but something’s going on with me and I’m scared.” She held the bed sheet clutched to her chest, her eyes wide. “I think I’m changing into something I don’t understand. I keep seeing you with this golden aura around your entire body and I don’t know what to do with all that’s happened, with what keeps happening.” Tears fell down her cheeks. “And now we have this bond.”
