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Beck tried to bite back his frustration. “You’re not responsible for Seth’s feelings.”
“I know. And I—”
“And if he only wants you for your virginity, he’s not worth the bag necessary to take out the trash. I understand you’ve got feelings for him, but you need to think about you, too.”
“I am. I don’t think he just wants bragging rights about being my first. It’s like he took my feelings for you as a rejection, like he assumed if I wanted you, I couldn’t want him, too. Even though I’ve told him it’s more complicated than that…” She shook her head.
So basically, the dumb shit was coming between them and he wasn’t even here? Peachy.
From helping him work with Raine on Liam and Hammer’s behalf a few short months ago, Seth knew perfectly well that a woman could have separate but equal feelings for two different men. Why the fuck had he suddenly gone stupid?
Of course, Liam and Hammer had solved the problem by sharing the girl who’d been unable to choose between them. That wasn’t happening with Heavenly. Oh, fuck. No. Just no. He’d hardly been able to share a meal with Seth. No way did he trust that asswipe enough to share in her care.
Beck let out a calming breath. He wasn’t going to push her to give more than she wanted to…but he didn’t want to let her go with a peck and a wave, either.
“Of course it’s more complicated,” he agreed. “Since you’re not ready for sex, there are plenty of other things I can teach you, pleasures I can give you. Just say the word. And if not…” He shrugged. “We’ll sit by the pool, enjoy the day, and talk.”
“Thanks for understanding,” she murmured, then suddenly couldn’t meet his stare again. A fresh flash of red surged up her face. “Would you show me your bedroom?”
Her question made his body ping electric.
“I’d love to.” He rushed to help her to her feet.
She cast a nervous glance around his messy kitchen. “Do you want help with the dishes first?”
“Fuck the dishes.” He seized her mouth with his and curled his arms around her frame, cupping her ass and lifting her against his body. “Hold on to me.”
Heavenly didn’t hesitate to wrap her arms and legs around him. He plunged his tongue into her mouth and marched to the stairs, taking them two at a time, then all but sprinted down the hall to his bedroom.
Beside his bed, he slowly lowered her to her feet, dragging every inch of her against him, then studied her flushed face. Already, her eyes were dilated, her lips swollen, her nipples pebbled. He regretted not getting his hands—or mouth—on her breasts last Friday. He was determined to make up for lost time.
Beck skated his fingers up her waist, tracing the edge of her underwire bra, before he cupped the pert globe in his hand. Staring into her eyes, he thumbed the tight little tip back and forth in slow strokes. “What do you want, little girl?”
“So many things…” she admitted with a groan, then gave him a self-deprecating smile. “Late last night, after my shift, I laid in my bed and I replayed our lunch over in my head. And for the first time ever, I was able to give myself an orgasm.”
“Good. You should know your body and what makes you hum.” He pinched her nipple through her dress lightly, relishing the hitch in her breath. “What part of our lunch did you think about while you got yourself off?”
“The ways you touched me. I put my fingers everywhere you did and thought of all the things you’d said. And…” She sighed, her smile widening. “It was nice. But not as amazing as when you gave me pleasure.”
Good to know. “You have other fantasies? Things you thought about when you touched yourself in the past?”
“For a long time, when I tried to, um…”
“Masturbate?” he supplied helpfully.
Right on cue, her face managed to turn even redder. “Yeah. When I did, my thoughts were mostly a curiosity. I wanted to know how my body worked. I wanted to understand the physiology. And I wanted to figure out why, if I was a woman, I wasn’t interested in any of the men—or women—around me. It was almost like I didn’t understand myself well enough to have fantasies. Then, you took me to the gallery.” She sighed. “And everything changed.”
This woman was the most interesting bundle of contradictions. It took her forever to tell him her troubles, but she readily shared her feelings and fantasies. There must be some reason. Whatever it was, her dichotomy intrigued him. Made him harder. Made him more desperate for her.
“I’m not surprised.” He’d sensed what she was the moment he’d met her. Having her validate that, even unconsciously, renewed his hope. She wasn’t ready for rubber paddles and whips—might never be—but she was ready for him to take control.
