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Right. Because he didn’t have to. That was enough for her. He only had to like her some. When they got back to her place, she’d figure out what to say to him…and how to explain him to her father.
She was being impulsive. After all, she and Seth had only been on one date. They’d seen each other a handful of times. Trusting someone with all her baggage was a big step. A scary one. She’d never done it and she hoped he didn’t scurry off once he got an eyeful of her reality. But just once, she wanted to live in the moment. And the truth was, if she kept waiting to start her life, she’d never experience anything.
Finally, the woman bagged the groceries. Seth paid, and it shocked her to think he hadn’t blinked at spending nearly fifty bucks for a single meal. But he grabbed the bags and dropped them into the cart, then put a hand at the small of her back and hustled her to the door.
Before they went any further, though, she needed to make a couple of things clear. Heavenly pulled on his sleeve. “Wait.”
“What’s wrong? Don’t change your mind now, angel…”
“I’m not,” she murmured as people bustled in and out of the store around them. “I need to be honest with you about something. Well, two things. First, we may not be able to have sex tonight. You’ll see why when we get to my place. But I want you to know it’s not because I don’t want to. I really do.”
“Hey, I’m not in a hurry. I don’t want you to feel rushed. Is it your first time?”
She winced. “Is it that obvious?”
“Only because I’m so fascinated by you that I watch every move.” He smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “We have time. It will happen when it happens. I can be patient. I just want to be with you.”
Heavenly let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you. That means a lot to me. Since I’ve never done this—dated or hooked up or whatever we’re doing—I don’t know if I’m saying this wrong. Or if I should say anything at all.” She sucked in a deep breath. “The thing is, I like you. You make me laugh and you make me feel special. I’ve needed that for a long time. But it seems only fair for me to be honest. I like Dr. Beckman very much, too.”
She bit her lip and waited for his reaction. His face remained carefully blank.
“You said he was your friend.” He didn’t sound pleased.
Should she have kept her mouth shut? But how would that be fair to Seth? If he was going to navigate around all the difficulties in her life, he had a right to know that she had feelings she couldn’t seem to help for someone else.
“He is, but I like him as a man. I’ve thought of him…as a lover.”
Seth jerked and sucked in a breath as if she’d punched him in the stomach. “That’s honest.”
Heavenly grimaced. “Was I not supposed to be?”
“No. You absolutely were.” He gave her a sharp nod. The air between them turned brittle. “On second thought, I should go. Do you need a ride home?”
What? Panic screamed that she’d screwed up. Seth hadn’t wanted honesty, just a quick tumble. She sighed. Why was trying to be with a man she liked so complicated?
“I can take the bus, but… Don’t leave. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry.”
He pulled his keys from his pocket. “Maybe this is for the best.”
As much as she hated it, maybe he was right. It wasn’t fair to expect Seth to want her when she also wanted Dr. Beckman so much. “Please don’t be angry.”
Seth shrugged like it was no big deal, but she knew better. “I’m the one who came on strong. My apologies.” He tossed his keys in the air and they landed in his palm. “Enjoy your dinner.”
He didn’t kiss her or touch her. Heck, he barely looked at her as he turned, headed for his rental with that long-legged stride, and disappeared. She already knew she wouldn’t see him tomorrow for that date they’d planned. In fact, she wondered if this was the last time she’d ever see him.
Gosh, even that thought hurt.
Fighting tears, she grabbed the grocery sacks and huddled against a sudden chill as she made her way to the bus stop.
Thirty minutes later, Liam drawled a question that instantly got Seth’s back up. “So that’s it? A little competition made you decide to piss off back to New York?”
On the trio’s sun-soaked patio, Seth pushed away from the table and stood so abruptly the iron chair clattered to the flagstone. Was the big Irish bastard listening to a word he said? He’d wasted ten damn minutes explaining what had happened between himself and Heavenly and why he should leave LA. He wasn’t jealous of her feelings for Beck; he simply had no reason to stay.
